RIP: Goat Cheese

Today was a bit of a high and a low for me.

I realised that I can’t eat Goat’s Cheese 😦 I looked up my food list for my diet and nope..can’t eat goats cheese. I can eat other cheeses which have been aged..but not soft cheeses. :(. Back to cheddar and swiss!

The high for me today was going to the 5 year old’s birthday party. I met this cute 5 year old, Lochlain, through his mom Sarah at a WW mtg (I do online now). She is from Michigan and has worked all over the world–she’s basically my hero. Totally a woman after my own heart–look at the pictures to prove it.

p1010106Lochlain wanted, originally, as vanilla cake w/ Vegemite filling. However, he changed his mind and wanted a chocolate cake w/ peanut butter filling. Which is hilarious because so many Australians don’t eat peanut butter. The cake looked amazing. He’s one lucky kid.

p1010107watermelon balls on toothpicks..how cute!

p1010108“5” sugar cookies

This is just the beginning of planned games, juice boxed and jello cut outs..oh and did I mention homemade pizza. AMAZING! One day I hope to do the same for my kids!

Was starving when I got back at two, so I ate some of my kangaroo mince w/ kidney beans and broccoli.

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I finished off my lunch with a pear! It was a bit on the ripe side, and I think that after this mornings nectarine I am going to have to cut out the fresh fruit from my diet–I don’t think it’s working for me 😦

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After the five year old’s birthday party I made what are known as Mars Bars Slice in Australia.

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Why don’t Americans make these? (maybe they do and I was deprived as a child) Not making them is beyond me. They are so incredibly easy to make and kids love em.

–This is where it turns sour!

I tasted the Mars Bars–just a bit. Then I came home and had to make a cake for the dinner which I am cooking for tomorrow night (will post the recipes and awesome dinner which I am making for people tomorrow…on my blog tomorrow–funny)! The cake is an amazing Chocolate Pumpkin Gluten-Free Cake w/ Pumpkin Orange Cream Cheese Frosting

I COULDN’T KEEP ME MOUTH OUT OF THE DAMN BATTER/FROSTING BOWLS. I AM SO upset with myself.

Then I went out to the pub again and got into the fries/chips a bit. When I got home, I had not eaten anything proper so I heated up a banana in the microwave for 2 minutes and mixed in 1 TB of almond butter and a dash of cinnamon. The only diet friendly thing I ate all afternoon.

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MICHELLE YOU HAVE TO QUIT ‘TASTING’ THINGS. IT DOES AFFECT YOU.

1. I have gained 15lbs officially
2. I feel like shit

I am mouring being single, and losing the one thing that brought me joy–baking.

I know it sounds melodramatic..but I think that I had to hit the wall tonight where I went home, got on the scale and sobbed.

It’s time to get serious, get over the grieving and realise that my life can and WILL be full w/o either of those things–men and food.

I am off to bed. I promise not to make this a ranting and raving type of a blog. However, it’s the ‘eating journey’ and I am having to rediscover and unattach the emotional eating wires of my past. I know that I am stronger than food and needing to be in a relationship. It’s just been hard realising that and what is even more frustrating is that I am knowingly letting it affect my emotionally and physically. Enough is ENOUGH!

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