Day 1 of 88 days before my 1/2 marathon.
I got a comment on my last post ‘is this blog over’? I had to really think about that. I don’t want my blog to be about: me losing weight, me bitching because I binged ate, me complaining about life.
Rather I want my life to reflect a new attitude which I am trying to embrace: Joy.
Joy with food, Joy with exercise, Joy with people. Bringing about the most amount of things which bring joy into my life. I have realised, and have blogged about before, that I have an abusive relationship with food. I think that I see food as either the enemy or as a comfort. I RARELY eat out of joy for the meal. Either I eat because it’s: there, fastly, or the least ‘amount of points as possible’. Horrible.
I want to eat because I have been dreaming up a fantastic meal and eat with joy for the food. With that being said, eating food that brings joy to my body.
Food which brings joy to my body. Not crap which makes me sick, which makes me feel bad about myself after it, that I eat in a conscious way. It think it’s an interesting thing. Especially for someone who has been struggling with their weight for awhile…many times people will say that food comforts them. But really it’s not about joy. At the end of shoving ice cream in your face (my choice) it’s not about joy. It’s usually a tear-filled evening of ‘tomorrow I’ll start’ and ‘why did I do that’ and ‘you’re so fat’. Frankly, I have had enough of using food in a non-joyful way.
The same goes for excercise. Who really wants to wake up early to go running in the freezing cold? Well, I have come to realise that exercise and working out (especially yoga) brings Joy to my life. It balances out my day, I feel mentally better about myself and I harness the strength to push myself further then I thought I might be able to do.
I guess all of this was brought on by the book ‘The Secret’. It’s an interesting idea of what whatever thoughts you project out into the world, is how your life will be fulfilled. Focusing on ‘can do’ and positive thoughts brings about the most suspended and honest changes in life.
So Day 1 of 88:
Ran 3 1/4 miles in 30 minutes: 9:30minute miles–this if from a girl who couldn’t run a mile about 8 years ago
Yoga for 20 minutes after running
1 hours of pilates tonight
I am filled with joy in that I know that life is a good as you think it will be. Yeah, things will come along, but it’s my choice to fill it with things which bring me joy or not bring me joy.