I baked tonight…yeah I bake pretty much every night.
I love it. I love baking. I love baking because it makes people happy.
I bake because:
-I want to be able to try something new
-I don’t want to be alone
-I want to feel like I have something to do in the lonely night
-I want to be around something
-My gut can handle one bite
-If I try it then I’ll start tomorrow
As I have posted, I am really trying to focus on the beauty of what I can bring to my life right now. Baking just isn’t doing it for me. Not in the traditional sense. I sit sometimes and think ‘I want to bake.’ Then I sit and think about it more and think ‘Michelle why do you really want to bake? Because I am having a sweet craving’.
I am meeting my doctor in six weeks and I haven’t had a good streak of the diet in probably 2 months…where I can be on the special diet which is suppose to cure my gut problems for more than one day…because I usually give into sugar and baking.
It’s all about comfort.
The baker has to close up shop…for the time being. I need to cleanse myself of this crux and focus on other things which bring me Joy, especially walking into the doctors office in six weeks and saying ‘yeah, all of my signs and symptoms are gone’.
The Baker is out of flour….she will just have to replace it with chicken…call me Chef Michelle.