I am off to soccer. My legs are going to be so damn sore. After my first 1 1/2 hours of soccer practice on Wednesday–that wasn’t constant running–I was exhausted. However, I am SO excited to be playing that I can’t even begin to describe. I think it’s because I haven’t really played any sport like this since 8th grade because I was too fat. Now I am healthy and happy.
Friday and Saturday this week have been horrible eating. I feel like a fat log of grossness. I am really excited to get out there and run around. I haven’t had any toliet runs :). Thus I think either my body is loving me or I’ve just consumed so much crap it will eventually attack. Either way I am getting it back together. It’s really scary how easily my brain and thought patters go back into ‘tomorrow you’ll start/it’s your last ____________’ I am really read to let this binge mentality go. Honestly I am. I am focused on letting it go. I am actually proud of myself. Cause I can feel it creeping back right now ‘go get a piece of cake’. No, I am not going down the line that I went down for six weeks at the beginning of the year which has got me to the high weight that I am at. NO! NO! NO!
However, I have decided that ONCE A MONTH I am going to have a blow it day–which was yesterday. I need to know that I have one day a month where I can go and get a double scoop gelato. It feels mentally freeing to know this..you have no idea. It’s like I am a 14 year old rebelling against my ‘parents’ in that I am on a restrictive diet and then I am also on WW. So it’s doubly restrictive in my mind set right now. I have to re-work this feeling of oppression. Into: This is what your body needs to be healthy, so embrace feeling light and healthy.
I have been working on some life goals from this website. I will post more about it later.
I’ll leave you with a quote from my new favourite purchase
The greatest gift you will ever receive is the gift of loving and believing in yourself. Guard this gift with your life. It is the only thing that will ever truly be yours. ~Tiffany Loren Rowe