My first! Thanks, Sex in the City

From my favourite new purchase ‘LoveLife’ comes a quote from Sarah Jessica Parker:

‘The firsts go away–First Love, First baby, First Kiss. You have to create new ones.’

I love this quote because I think it’s fitting for me in my life right now. I feel like it’s one of the first times in my life where I’ve been able to grow and be selfish. Where I get to look at my love/issues with food, body image, relationships, intimacy, work ethic, emotions…on my own. It’s the first time in pretty much my whole life where I’ve lived alone.

Last night, after I wrote my blog post about how good I was doing, I decided to bake. Well, baking I’ve realised is an emotional release for me. It’s the ONE thing, currently, which enables me to unwind. What ends up happening though, and has done for the past five months in particular, is that it spirals into an emotional release, promising of starting over binge. TADA!

My first journal entry post pysch last night started to identify these things.

I need an emotional release that has nothing to do with food.

I am not giving up on food, like not giving up on men, I am just instead deciding to re-evaluate and re-configure my relationship with food. It’s easy for me to post the fifty things that I want to do this week, how much I am going to work out, what little I am going to eat. However, frankly if I stopped working out today so that I could get my head around my emotional needs with food..I would lay strapped to a couch.

So, it’s my first day embracing food.

So, it’s my first day journaling in the mornings.

So, it’s my first day where I consciously battle the routine of letting food be my emotional release.

So, it’s my first day of loving my body by fueling it properly.

I love firsts!

I just re-read this post and it brought me to tears. I feel so strong. There isn’t a tone of desperation and silly promises to myself, you, which I won’t be able to keep. I feel like a a huge weight has been lifted and my strength and focus is back. Thank you for reading. Thank you for your encouragement. God it feels good to be a gansta! 🙂

2 thoughts on “My first! Thanks, Sex in the City

  1. Michelle says:

    I think you are such an inspiration and so proactive in really trying to take control of your life and find what works for you and what doesn’t. Good for you! Also, I just wanted to let you know how much I’ve been enjoying the SJC workouts every day. They are challenging but really great!

  2. Mish says:

    Thank you. I sometimes wonder if I should share so much, but I get sick of ‘happy’ blogs all the time. We aren’t always happy and balanced.

    I am enjoying the SJC workouts as well. They keep me honest.

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