I have to say that last night was a bit emotional for me.
I finally feel totally and completely free from everything that has held me back. For that I am incredibly grateful especially since I am leaving for Timor this Saturday.
I have been following Angela for quite some time and I have to say that she’s one amazing person. She made 500 granola bars for a race that she was running, ran the race on about five hours of sleep and placed third. AMAZING. She’s also overcame binge eating. For that she’s inspired me.
The blogging world is a funny one. It does and doesn’t make sense to me at times, because you open yourself up in so many ways that you wouldn’t probably do otherwise. Anyways, she has been a mental support for me through her writings. I sent her this e-mail last night through tears of joy because thank god I am free!
I know that we’ve never met, we probably never will…but thank you.
I have been struggling with binge eating for about five months and tonight it hit me…I love myself!
I bawled while washing dishes..on the floor…while writing my thoughts down. I feel so in touch with my body. I understand my binges, I know that life hasn’t dealt me the most amazing health cards…but damn it…i have a chance to help other people.
I have spent eight years dieting, living by someone else rules, regulations, categories, weight requirements, etc. Now I am living by my own. Yeah I am about 25lbs heavier than I want to be. But I am losing this weight for me. By living a healthy lifestyle and feeding my body with the things that give it power. Not by points, starving, etc.
I feel free. Empowered. BEAUTIFUL. Honestly beautiful. Graceful. Strong. At peace.
Thank you for always being in the back of my head…knowing that someone could overcome these vicious cycle meant more to me than you could ever imagine. It has given me my life back. I feel so in control of where I am going, who I am and where I want to be.
I feel the most beautiful I’ve ever felt in my whole life.
I didn’t write this post wanting anything back from her. It wasn’t my intention. Thank you isn’t about recievinig anything back from it..it’s simply giving. However, she posted it on her blog today…that was very sweet of her. I went through and read some of the comments and was touched to see her readers responding to my honesty, struggles, thoughts in a positive way.
I feel like I am not alone.
God has given my this body, these issues, my grace. It is my job to use them to help others. That is what overwhelmed me last night.
I am beautiful. I am free. I am on a path to bring peace not only to myself, but through me to others.