Armour is off..Real me is HERE!

Eating is not about “being good”, its about feeling good

My clothes..the ones which are not sticking to my body, or having fat rolls hanging over them at the top…are sticking to my body and having fat rolls over the top.

After a late night blah baking blah binge blah…I tried some pants on that I almost got rid of last October because they were too big. Now I can hardly button them up.

The whole ‘you need to crash diet and run run run’…popped into my head full force. However, I didn’t want to give into the whole ‘I promise tomorrow that I’ll be this or that’. I am not making any more promise to myself..except that I am going to be ME. Because I know what that feels like and it’s good..really damn good.

I have started the 79days as a way to honestly focus on mentally letting go of all the crap, hurt, b-shit that has been running through my head for eight years. Eight years of counting points, not feeling beautiful, hiding my real self, constantly being worried about what I looked liked, being consumed with reaching someone else’s standards.

Then I went to Timor. Shed it all…and enjoyed every single EVERY SINGLE morsel of fried bread..and lost weight, cms and lost the consumed with my body Michelle.

Then I touched down in Australia..or anywhere else for that matter and BAM right back into old habits.

Well…just for a couple of days.

So…I told myself last night. This isn’t about weight goals, or running this or lifting that. It’s about truly listening to the person that I found/re-discovered in Timor. The strong, vivacious, honest, intouch Michelle. It’s not even the Real v. False. It’s Michelle. It’s Me. It’s Me and I am here.

To the old Michelle, thank you.

To the new Michelle, thank god I found you…again.

7 thoughts on “Armour is off..Real me is HERE!

  1. Dinneen-Eat Without Guilt says:

    Glad you liked my tweet & used it as a post!! You’re so right not to be counting points, because as you’re learning…it’s not about the “food.”

    For many people, it’s about their relationship with food and their relationship with themselves.

    The overeating & bingeing is just a symptom of the problem.

    And yes, it is about rediscovering yourself and what you’re really hungry for (and I can get it’s not *really* for chocolate cake!).

    I see it every day in my business by helping people find what they’re really hungry for, and learning how to deal with their emotions, — they’re key to getting back on tract and finding themselves.

    I’m rooting for you!

    • Mish says:

      Thank you so much for that. I feel amazing. I am out of the cloud of emotional garbage and loving every inch of me..even if it’s more than I want. But my spirit is more important and I’ve found it again. God it feels amazing and I will never EVER let someone or something take that away from me again. πŸ™‚

  2. MizFit says:

    what Dineen said.

    It’s so easy to SAY , I KNOW, but my clients and I would spend hours discussing how it was not about the food at all.

    it never is huh?

    PLEASE reach out again if I can lend a hand at all.

    • Mish says:

      Thanks so much for stopping by. Knowing that I have you and others online to shot an e-mail/twitter/blog comment to means more than you know. I never thought that blogging would be such a release and growth experience but it has. I just keep reminding myself that it’s one day at a time. It’s a powerful and tired and true saying..but it works. Thanks so much for the support πŸ™‚

  3. Reluctant Blogger says:

    It sounds like you are on the verge of some sort of turning point which is wonderful. I do hope it works.

    A half marathon is very ambitious!!! I can’t manage anything beyond a 10k.

    Good luck with it all anyway. Sorry I don’t have anything profound to say – but I don’t think you need it. You’ve worked it out for yourself.

    • Mish says:

      Thanks for stopping by! I hope that my words..though my own trial/tribulations/smiles/tears reach you wherever you are in your journey. I wonder sometimes if my words hold weight for anyone..and it’s nice to know that it hits someone. Thanks again..and I hope that we continue on this journey together of getting everything sorted..well as best as we can πŸ™‚

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