Today…I will not kill my insides

This is how I am feeling this morning

hurdle-face

I have not done this all week

ryan-phillippe-working-out00

Working out that is…… I have taken a ‘break’ from working out after my Tri on Sunday and it’s REALLY affected me mentally. Each night I stay up later, each morning pressing the snooze button. Each morning promising myself that I will workout that night…nope the next morning.

vicious cycle…unhealthy for me.

I was talking with my trainer last night over a twice baked butternut squash inspired by HangryPants and I said to him:

I am having a hard time getting back into the training thing, because my next tri is in four months and the two races I have lined up on November I know I can race. It’s like I am not being challenged enough. I am a pressure cooker worker.

He goes

Mish, you need to sign up for another triathlon before your big one in Feb. You need to try another length out and get yourself out there.

It was lovely talking to him last night and it made me think a bit about what I want from my fitness. I want AM:

  • Going to run both 5kms under 30 minutes, secret goal of under 28 minutes, that I have lined up for my time in America in 1 week and two days 🙂
  • I want Going to finish the tri in February feeling like a machine
  • I want am to make fitness part of my life

After he left I went to check upon the Lemon Bars which I was making for my friend’s birthday. They were an EPIC Fail. However, I ended up eating about 3 serves of them, because they were there.

I was looking back through my food diary and three nights out of the past five I’ve had something that has contained food (dairy, sugar, gluten) that my stomach and digestive system does not process. It is killing my insides. That is really hard to write, I…Michelle…am killing my intestinal wall. I am providing unnecessary harm to my body.

I woke up with that sugary coated mouth and vowed to never let it happen again. However, I am going to take a step back..because I am reminded of Jack Sh*t’s Post where he says

Yesterday may not have been your best day, but yesterday is dead and gone. Yesterday’s a fading memory, a train that’s long since left the station, a house that’s been boarded up and abandoned.

Today is what’s ahead of you, and it’s a day full of promise and possibility. You can make a positive and lasting change in your life and you can start today. All it takes is attention to the smallest of details. All it takes is being mindful about what you put in your mouth, being attentive to your body’s deep yearning to move. There never seems to be a good time to start, but I say that today’s as good a day as any. Today’s your day to start making your life better.

So, kids..what’s my plan today?

  1. Whittle my middle in about five minutes after I post this
  2. Swimming 1.5km tonight
  3. 20 minute run tonight
  4. Going out and eating what makes my little intestinal hairs happy and not dead
  5. Research another tri in Dec/Jan and get myself focused on that…cause I WANT it!

I am sorry if this is a downer..but I need to be honest with you. This is my journey. We all feel like we’re not jumping over the hurdle. Thank Heavens for amazing bloggers who inspire me on a daily basis.

How do you get over the hurdle?

~M

 

 

2 thoughts on “Today…I will not kill my insides

  1. missyrayn says:

    I went to PT this morning even though I wasn’t feeling entirely 100%. And in a few minutes I’m going to do Whittle My Middle while Hunni and I watch HP 4 🙂

    • Mish says:

      good on you for going. I am going to hit the pool and pavement tonight after work. Thanks for writing this…I am getting excited.

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