Is it happening again?

Hey there….How are things? How ya’ goin’?

My day started off with this huge HUGE apple and 1 TB of almond butter

Then I felt like sh– for the rest of the day. I think that I have a problem (also) with fiber. I was so sick all day long. I remember when I got sick in Japan last year and the doctor told me to go on a low-fiber diet. I am so tired of being sick. I don’t eat sugar, dairy, gluten, wine…and now no F-ing apples. I am exhausted from being sick.

But what do I do? I eat…because I am away from my normal place. I haven’t worked out..and that’s how I cope.

Lunch…hamburger (free range, grassfed) salad w/ a bit of friend potato and hot sauce—good Farm cookin’.

I felt rubbish after this as well. I went to this awesome store in my hometown that sells gifts from all over the world. Great place to get presents. They had a whole section with African gifts…I wanted to jump on a plane right then and there.

I came home and pounded water and had about 1/3 c. of homemade canned tuna. If you have never had fresh canned tuna then you haven’t lived. With 1/2 c. corn that my grandma froze for me from summer..she’s a doll.

For dinner I had chicken w/ homemade pasta sauce and veggies w/ steamed carrots and rice.

Then I baked..why? Because I was sad. Why, because I let the binge monster take over. Gluten free Coconut Butterscotch Cookies (Recipe tomorrow). I had 7 of them. Seven. I didn’t even want to write that. I didn’t want to admit to that. Nope. Not.at.all.

I then realised that what I had made for Ashely’s bake sale wasn’t vegan..so I attempted to make some cornbread apple scone things..that wont work for the bake sale…but even then I ate one of those as well.

When I binged like this before, is was to escape the emotions that I was having or try and ignore the stomach pain I was having. It’s stupid frustrating really. But it’s how I cope. I would (and did do a little bit today) beat myself up. However, I have learned that it won’t consume me. I had one little blip and tomorrow is a new day. I don’t like to make promises to myself about how I am ‘Going to be Better Tomorrow and start by working out.’ However, I am going to write down my workout plan for the rest of the week

  • Wednesday: Swim 1.9km
  • Thursday: 5km Turkey Trot
  • Friday: swim 1.9km and 35 minutes running slow
  • Saturday: 1 hour biking
  • Sunday: Hiking

That’s what I’ve got. The binge/need to lose weight monster tried to ruin my vacation. HELL NO! I am here to enjoy my time, continue down the path of recovery with my stomach and embrace what I have been given. It’s not easy, but I know that I can.

How do you bounce back from a crappy day?

~M

21 thoughts on “Is it happening again?

  1. gemfit says:

    I bounce back by realising and remembering that it’s only one day and tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow you can start all over again. Don’t beat yourself up over this. At least you know why you felt so inclined to binge and you know what to do to stop the cycle.

    You know you can do this.

  2. Julie @savvyeats says:

    Just remember that what’s done is done and can’t be un-done. All you can do is do your best in the given moment!

    And you’ve got the support of the healthy living bloggers behind you šŸ™‚

  3. Suz says:

    Many hands trading is one of my favorite stores. How to I bounce back? Get up early and clean. It makes you feel so productive even if you don’t work out!!!

    • Mish says:

      It’s so true about cleaning…nothing better than a clean house. OMG..the store almost made my brain explode. Things in American are SO cheap as well.

  4. Lara (Thinspired) says:

    I love your attititude with this. I too am familiar with that particular monster, and it’s so easy to just go “oh, I’ve already ruined it, may as well eat (insert horrible food here).” Seems like you faced it and dealt with it right away! šŸ™‚

  5. Miz says:

    it sounds silly but since I have a crappy car it totally works for me…I really do try and envision (after Ive made a plethora of bad choices in WHATEVER REALM!) it as if I found my car with one tire flat.
    would I slash the other three to match? HELL NO šŸ™‚

    I just try and pick myself up and moooooooove on.
    oh
    after whining to friends for a while as well.

    thats what we’re here for!

  6. Reluctant Blogger says:

    I think bouncing back from a crappy day is def one of those things that gets better with practice ie age. I am brilliant at it now but I didn’t use to be.

    I just write it off in my head. It’s as easy as that. I do like you have just done – write it down, kick a door if I need to, cry if I have to – then go to bed thinking not about the day I’ve just had but the new one ahead with which I can do what I CHOOSE.

    It works for getting rid of guilt. It doesn’t always work to change behaviour but at least the guilt is not adding to them and that does help.

    Keep in touch with the blog because I think for you it will help to keep your mind focused on what you know you can do and how you know you can be.

    Plus you have all your wonderful supportive friends here to help you.

    Seven cookies aint that bad Michelle. Just forgive yourself. It’s fine.

  7. angryrunner says:

    Recently stumbled on your blog. As someone else who does lean meats and is limited in what vegetarian substitutes I can do due to soy, dairy and fiber issues I’m curious: have you read much about paleo theories of eating? (i.e. like this FAQ: http://www.thepaleodiet.com/faqs/) I’ve read a lot of research and I don’t fully agree with some of the restrictions (and I really have issues with some people beginning to market it as a DIET when its really a lifestyle thing), but given the restrictions you’ve talked about having to make, I wondered if you’d seen anything about it and had any thoughts.

  8. Katy says:

    I totally understand what you’re going through — as an emotional/bored eater myself, I often wonder…WHY DID I DO THAT? And then beat myself up.

    Hopefully, coming “clean” takes away some of the guilt you might have been feeling, and lets you just shed this and move on!

    Love you, honey.

  9. eaternotarunner says:

    I have struggled severe heartburn and IBS (or thats what they call it) since I was probably 16. I do the same thing when I get depressed about everything I can’t eat, and I think I binge like that to make myself feel worse (I know it doesn’t really make sense!)

    The best thing to do is move on and try to do better the next day. Don’t beat yourself up! I hope your stomach gets back on track soon….

  10. Dori says:

    I’m so sorry you weren’t feeling great. Apples and salads… those are the foods that get me the most. It is so hard to avoid foods you love and are healthy because they cause problems. I wish I knew a way around it.

    As for the cookies, 7 cookies is not such a big deal, please don’t beat yourself up! I’d have done the same thing. Today is a new day and you’ve got great workouts on the schedule.

    Feel good!

  11. peanutbutterandjuli says:

    Hey honey,

    My sister has major stomach issues too, and it’s a constant guess and check with foods. Sometimes a food causes her issues, then it won’t anymore. The discomfort is horrible and I hope you find some peace from it this week!!

    I love your attitude about this week! Don’t let it rob you of your time at home:) (probably easier said than done, huh?)

    -Juli

  12. missyrayn says:

    From a crappy day I have to get back on right away. I have to plan out the day so I stick to it and get in some activity.

    But I feel your pain with the stomach issues. Sometimes there is no help when it starts to hurt. I tend to drink a lot of green tea then to settle it down and take a warm bath.

  13. Ali says:

    You know what- the best thing you could have done was stop, admit that you ate that many, and then move on with it. YOU DID JUST THAT.
    It’s ok to do these things on occasion, and you aren’t letting ruin your vacay and you have exercise planned, so now you have to find what type of eating lifestyle will work for you.
    Here’s just a random question: If you realize fiber is making you sick too, why did you continue to eat veggies? Maybe trying a little less in these areas, a little more with rice and spices, and just a bit of fruit. Then make sure to supplement- just a thought!
    I hope you are enjoying home, Mish. It’s sort of funny to think you are only a few states away now šŸ™‚

  14. sisrocks1996 says:

    Just get through it . Try to get back on the next day. I know things are rough, but it will work itself out have faith. Holidays are never easy around food. I’m learning to cope and leave food out of it. Have you tried running or yoga just for some meditation?

  15. Katherine says:

    At least you counted – during a bunch of my past binges, I’d just think “well the number doesn’t matter, the damage is already done, I’ll just eat them all.” Mad props to you for keeping yourself accountable and realizing that it’s just a blip. And also for writing out a tangible list of activities to do this week on your VACATION. You’re awesome!! I’m sorry your tummy issues keep growing…I’m sending you hugs from just a few timezones away!!

  16. Tracey @ Tropical Happiness says:

    So sorry to hear that you’re having a rough day. But you are right, this is just a little blip… don’t let it bring you down!
    Your plan for the rest of the week sounds great, and it will be easier to stick to now that you have it written down!
    šŸ™‚

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