Working on my food sex life

I have been home, in Oregon, for four days. Two of those days have seen nights of over-eating. 50% of my time I have been over-eating (not including Thanksgiving).

I have come to this realision…this self-admittance, that Food is…..

  • The thing I turn to when in a new place…it’s familiar
  • The thing I turn to when I am in a social situation that is uncomfortable…a safety-net
  • The thing I turn to when I am alone…it’s comfort
  • The thing that I am known for…baking, feeding…it’s my identity
  • The thing which I struggle with
  • The thing I punish myself with
  • The relationship which has been the most tumultuous thing I have ever been invested in

I have realised that I turn to food, especially when changing environments, facing stress or in social situations. It hit me while I was driving my car today, Food is my DRUG of choice. Some people turn to alcohol, cocaine, sex, exercise, sleep, etc.

I turn to food.

I say this…with a light heart. I am not beating myself up. I am just saying, I am Michelle and I turn to food. I am just admitting where I am.

It’s not about me turning to food, it’s how much I eat, what I eat, and what my intentions are. It’s like saying ‘Honey, we need to work on our relationship/sex life/communication.’ I am working on my food sex life…it just isn’t working for me anymore and I am tried of leaving unsatisfied.

I stand here to say, that I am going to find a new position with food. I will continue to engage, but I WILL leave satisfied.

~M

 

 

13 thoughts on “Working on my food sex life

  1. julie @ finding jewels says:

    Its commendable that you acknowledged this within 4 days! You’re on the right track! A therapist once told me that our relationship with food mimics our relationships with people. Is that the case for you? I know it is for me. I have a hard time letting go and can be very needy in relationships. I don’t want to lose them so I “fill myself” up with them as much as I can. Not sure if this makes sense, hehe 😀 xoxo, jewels

    • Mish says:

      Thank you for this. It’s so true. I need to work on this..It pretty much all boils down to what you’re saying. Will think about this. Thank you.

  2. missyrayn says:

    That is a really interesting analogy. Food is my drug of choice too. It’s hard to deal with because you have to eat and it is just about how you do it.

  3. gemfit says:

    Coming to this realisation is a huge step in the right direction. And especially after only 4 days. Huge.

    Take this and work with it. Realise that, just as we expect drug addictions to take a while to work through, this will take a while. And it will be something you deal with always but you are strong enough to deal with it.

  4. Mandy says:

    Thank you, Mish! Your honesty is inspiring. As I’m typing this I am with family that I love, yet are very triggering just because I’m not used to hanging out with them. What do I want to do? Eat. I’m not hungry, and I know if I eat I will feel guilty and won’t want to eat tomorrow…but I want to eat desperately. Hanging on, one moment at a time and hoping I’ll get tired soon. Thanks for giving me pause. xoxo

  5. Marie says:

    Firstly, I love that your nick is “Mish”. That’s my little sister’s nick. I’ve never heard it used elsewhere.

    Secondly, I love the sex life analogy! Cracks me up. But so true.

  6. FitBunny says:

    I have another Thanksgiving dinner to go to today and your post is good inspiration for me. I’m the same way with food. I just.can’t.stop. once I start. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time and I have noticed that I get better at getting back to normal after eating too much…how about you? I think it just takes a lot of practice.

    • Mish says:

      I think it’s about letting go of the ‘have to eat it cause it’s there mentality’. I am going to another buffet tonight so it should be interesting to see how I go. I am going to re-focus my thoughts from food -to- family/friends/HOT TUB!

  7. Becca says:

    this post sounds like i wrote it, way too true, but nice to hear someone else with the same struggles, etc.

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