I have to write this post. I have to admit where I am.
This isn’t something that I really want to admit to. I am feeling desperate for a man in my life. It’s annoying, depressing, and very real.
It had been almost 1 year since I ended my first and only relationship (I was 25). It has been about three months since I have actually been emotionally free from the break-up. (it took me a long time).
I have been on dates–EPIC fails, good guys..never beyond the second date. The ones I like, never call back.
It’s disgusting..every TIME I meet a man this is what I do:
- Is there a wedding ring?
- Is he tall enough?
- I wonder if he’s single?
- Wonder if he has kids?
- Do I look ‘fat’ today?
- Hopefully I don’t screw this conversation up
It’s this constant CONSTANT mental talk that goes on in my mind.
I have to get it out into the world. I constantly am thinking about ‘meeting’ the right one. When? Where? How?
Maybe here, maybe there….
This isn’t easy to admit. I don’t want anyone to think that I am stronger than I am..I am just me. Admitting that I am feeling a bit down, a bit discouraged, a bit hope-drained.
Have you ever felt this way?