The first day that we were driving down south I sat in the back seat smashed up against camping gear
…..shoving my face with rice crackers and nut butter. ok..admittley not the worst things i could be eating.
However, I knew that I wasn’t hungry. I was bored. I wasn’t full on binging..but I was over-eating.
I stopped. Put them away and then started counting the points in my head. It’s exhausting having to look at food as points/calories/lbs/kgs/’naughties’
I flung my head back, shut my eyes and said in my mind ‘what I want from 2010 is to intuitively eat’
That’s it. I don’t want a man. A nice date. God to come from the Heavens. To win the Lotto.
I want to love my body enough to feed it properly.
We hiked Bluff Knoll. My body, 100lbs lighter made it up the mountain. My legs never gave out on me. My mind did..then I overcame that. The view was amazing. The sense of accomplishment was worth it.
We then went to the campsite where we were staying and started talking to a guy who was washing dishes who was part of a group of four..two couples. We invited ourselves over to their table and I started chatting to a woman who is a ultra-marathon runner.
I go ‘So, when you eat how do you know how much to eat? Do you worry about weight?‘
She looks at me with a tinge of ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ look in her eyes. She ponders and goes ‘I look at food as fuel. If I eat that, then it directly impacts my running, thinking, sleeping. I don’t worry about weight. I don’t say no to anything…some things may take a bit more encouragement to eat (sugars, white flours), but I don’t limit myself. Instead I think of how food helps me live the life that I want. It’s my fuel’
I looked at her and wanted to hug her. But I didn’t. I just stopped.
Food is Fuel.
Food isn’t a weight loss mechanism
Food isn’t something that is naughty
Food isn’t to be shunned, shoved, purged, limited
FOOD IS FUEL
For the rest of the glorious weekend I asked myself ‘Michelle, will that fuel you the way that you want to?‘
Yes, I had wine. I had chips. I had cookies. I didn’t binge on any of them. I just said ‘this amount (moderated) will fuel me’
I enjoyed food. I didn’t count points. I didn’t obsess. It enjoyed this sandwhich so much…I am tellin’ ya.
I enter 2010 with the constant reminder that food is my fuel.
How do you look at food?