Packaged Carbed Courage

A Self Love reflection from Caitlin

I love my courage.  I’m so much more courageous than I ever thought I would be!  Even when I think I can’t do something (run a marathon, race in a triathlon), I just TRY.  Before a new race or a new challenge, I am scared – shaking in my boots – yet I just dive right in.  I would love to rid myself of all self-doubt, but sometimes I think that having to face our fears and just DO IT can be so liberating.  Maybe I love my fear a little, too!

Do I have the courage to change my food choices w/o beating myself up?

This is the question that I have been asking myself today regarding my food choices, cause I’ve been lovin’ me too many carbs.

  • B: 1 1/2 c. of rice krisipes, 1/2 c. special K, 2 bananas, 1 orange
  • Snack: 1 orange

  • Lunch: salad w/ 1/2 c. white rice w/ veggies, 1 orange
  • Snack: 1 iced soy latte, 1 orange, 1 nectarine, 6 small cookies, 10 potato chips

  • Dinner: 4  c. rice krispies, 1/2 c. special k, 2 banana, salad
  • Snack: 1/3 c. white rice, 2 tsp. almond butter, 1 gf muffin

Michelle…what are you a carb MONSTER?

I am not getting enough protein in my meals, they aren’t balanced. I KNOW this. So..tomorrow is a new day and I endeavor to overcome my carb laden, eating beyond satisfaction, approach of today.

I get to blame this awesome package that I got from Cynthia today for some of my cookie/pea chip indulgence 🙂

Is that Trader Joe Almond butter?

Did the customs agents steal anything?

I love getting mail…but huge packages full of not only food, but amazing books as well. Cynthia, you rule my world.

I did get my carb loaded ass to the gym today!

  • 20 minutes on treadmill: 2 minutes 10% incline at 7 KMPH, 2 minutes 6% incline at 6KMPH
  • 45 miuntes of weights and abs

While I was busting ass and moving I was thinking about MizFit‘s blog post today. What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of failing?

Ok so I have been thinking about this all day long.

When I first read this post, I thought to myself ‘marathon’. Then I thought ‘climb mt. kilamanjaro’.

Then I looked out my window. ‘What the hellz bellz am I thinking..of course I can do all those things.’

It’s really a matter of … DO I WANT TO? I think that we know that we CAN do most things. However, what I believe is that many times we say ‘we can’t do that’ because frankly we don’t want to.

Then I thought abt. it more, actually while I was doing the seated row at the dodgy uni gym.

‘What am I honestly afraid of? What would I do if I knew that I wouldn’t fail?’

Tell someone that they hurt me, or that I love them, walk around in a bathing suit, do a fitness challenge.


I would stop dieting and trust myself. The one thing that I would do if I knew I wouldn’t to trust myself.

Then I pumped more iron and with each grunt, I let a bit of that fear go.


22 thoughts on “Packaged Carbed Courage

  1. missyrayn says:

    Looks like they left everything in there. Never thought they’d open it though. Hope you enjoy it all because you are so worth it.

    I’m getting to the point that MizFit is at. I don’t obsessive look up everything I eat and I work out to make my body happy. I’m still cautious but I’m trusting my body to not fail me since it’s seemed pretty happy where its at for almost 3 months and I feel great!

  2. Sagan says:

    I stopped by your blog today BECAUSE of that particular comment you left at MizFit’s site. You really nailed it on that one and I loved your wisdom.

    Also ME TOO ME TOO I’m a carby-goodness carb junkie 😀

  3. Elisabeth says:

    I think that for most people (women especially), letting go of the “diet” mentality is terrifying. We learn (almost) from birth that the only way to maintain a healthy WEIGHT is to diet. What we are not taught is that this healthy WEIGHT is completely subjective, and it is based upon how we FEEL.

    I’ve talked about the mind/body disconnect a few times on my bloggies, but what I basically think is that we start feeling like a separate entity from our own body. I know that personally, I started feeling like a bit of a science project with all of the weighing and measuring and counting of food quantities and calories. The only way to get “over” this hurdle is to stop. Stop weighing (yourself and your food), stop measuring quantities (and yourself), and start listening to your body.

    I know when I’ve eaten too much. My gut feels stuffed, I am lethargic, and I often feel like I can’t breathe. In the hours afterward, my stomach is upset, and I can tell that digestion is not happening very easily. Everyone has their own “I’m too full” symptoms.

    Intuitive eating is a long process of learning and listening to ones’ body. You learn to give yourself permission to eat anything that you want. You learn that it’s not the end of the world when you overindulge, and it has no bearing on yourself as a person (eating that chocolate bar-for example-does not make you a bad person or lazy, or worthless), it just means that you ate it. Big friggen deal.

    You also learn to listen…listen…listen…to your body. Through listening, you pick out clues of your hunger. You learn what you need to eat at a particular time to cure your hunger. You learn that food should be enjoyed, but abusing food causes your body to feel bad, and that’s not the intent.

    I used to be a TOTAL carb junkie. BIG TIME. I could/would eat an entire loaf of homemade cinnamon raisin bread in one sitting. The wonderful thing about carbs is that the less you eat them, the less you crave them. I’ve eventually learned that they don’t fill me up the way that I need them to. Since I’ve also learned that my hunger works on a continuum, not feeding myself properly at “this” meal will most likely lead to some sort of overindulgence at the next meal.

    So…with this long huge book of a comment…my point is that intuitive eating is amazing, and it has worked miracles in my own life with food. You’re facing the same struggles as most of us are or have had in the past, and I love your candor.

    • Mish says:

      Thank you so much for sharing this. Just reading over what you said makes so much sense and it inspires and encourages me to let go of the diet in my a little everyday. 🙂

  4. Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) says:

    I have to agree with Elizabeth in one way: the less carbs you eat, the less you crave them. However, when you label them as forbidden, THEN they hold something over you and you are likely to overindulge them.

    There seems to be two schools of thought: If you are having a problem with a food (emotionally), then cut it out of your life completely.


    Allow yourself to have it, just in reasonable amounts.

    I think that only you can decide which one works for you. And it sucks with the yeastball thing b/c that adds another dimension to it. If you truly trust your doc who diagnosed the yeastball, then you have to work within those parameters too.

    • Mish says:

      Deb, great points. I am not going to say NO to carbs. However, what I am going to do it be concious about adding more vegtable, proteins and fats to my diet and my meals. I have been eating heaps of ‘low fat’ yet carb filled meals as a vegan and I am sure that is something that vegans struggle with. I am! So it’s a journey and I appreciate your insight.

  5. love2eatinpa says:

    great post and great question! you nailed it when you said we can do anything, it’s just a matter of wanting to do it.
    i would like to trust myself with my eating as well. trust that my body would know the right amount that would keep me at the weight that i am right now, not go up or down. that’s why i can’t let go of counting the calories. i don’t trust that i can pull this off w/out knowing how many calories i’ve consumed.

  6. Chloe @ Project Live Well says:

    You’ve just reminded me that I must pick up some Almond Butter at the store tomorrow (I’ve never tried it yet) – thank you for that!

    I hope your short break was rejuvenating. This is a very thought provoking post and it raises a lot of questions. I have been thinking alot lately about whether I want to do a marathon, ever. I can’t decide if I actually just don’t want to do it or whether it’s a fear of failure.

    • Mish says:

      Chole. 1. You must try almond butter–RIGHT NOW 🙂 2. Isn’t that an interesting question. It’s really many times not about if we can or if we can’t. It’s really about ‘do we want to?’

  7. kwithme says:

    Your post had me tearing up. I don’t have anything profound to say, I just wanted to let you know that your post spoke to me.

    BTW, you look like the actress playing Emma on Masterpiece Theater’s Emma.

    • Mish says:

      I need to check out Emma. And, I am glad that it spoke to you. I can not remember the times when I read a post and teared up. That’s what I love about blogging.

  8. gemfit says:

    I was just talking to my mom about this on the weekend – when I don’t have many processed carbs, I don’t crave them. The more I have, the more I crave. And I also crave when someone tells me I can’t have it! My SIL-to be is on a no carb diet and just hearing about it made me crave carbs.

    I just try to substitute whole grain where I can and accept that I will always crave carbs.

    • Mish says:

      I think that the idea of substituting whole grains and/or adding fat/protein to the carbs is so important. Esp. going vegan, I have to be VERY aware of my carb intake, because it’s easy to fall back on them.

      • gemfit says:

        The other thing I do with every meal is ask myself “where’s the protein?” because usually, when I add protein, I balance out the carbs.

  9. s. says:

    I try every day not to beat myself up after I “overindulge.” I find that term to just be a nice way of saying DAMN GIRL YOU ATE A LOT (which I did do. All of January). I love your idea of being courageous enough to not beat yourself up – I’m going to try and be courageous enough to change the way I eat. For good.

  10. erin says:

    Woah — you’re an Aussie who received a package of food in to the country?! How did this happen? I thought customs took everything!!

    I would love to know whether anything was stolen, and what the story is with receiving packages from the states (or ordering one’s own food in). I have been wanting for SO LONG to send my postal address to friends in the USA but have been worried about customs stealing my delivery!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s