Would you change your life, if you knew you were dying?

A Self-Love reflection from Tricia

During the course of the past year I have lost 122 pounds and found out a lot about myself. I LOVE that I am a very goal driven person. This joureny has shown me I can accomplish anything and I LOVE that sense of empowerment. I LOVE how strong and healthy my body has become. I LOVE how I wake up each day excited about all the possibilities my life holds.

If you knew you were going to die…how would that impact your life?

Lance posted this video.

I watched, let tears roll then got my shit together. I have a closet full of clothes I can’t fit. I go through must days trying to ‘relieve’ that fact that I didn’t workout when I was supposed to my snacking. Then I finally workout due to all of the snacking. I don’t trust myself most of the time to tell me when I have done eating. I struggle to stay motivated. I struggle with looking at my thighs and wanting nothing more than to call up Heidi Montag’s PS to see if they could just suck a little fat out of them.

Then I watch movies like that and realise that EVERYTHING that I think, do, eat, incorporate in my life is MY CHOICE.

After watching the video: I washed my dishes, cleaned off my bed, brushed my teeth, flossed, moisturized my face, took my disgusting herbal mixture, vitamins and wrote out my weekly goals. I have complained about Yeastball and where I am at. I could have died and yet there is this hurdle whereby I still enable not healthy eating patterns..but more mentally draining thought patterns that do NOTHING to help me.

This video is what I needed.

Would you change your thinking/life/thoughts/ways of living if you knew you were going to die?


8 thoughts on “Would you change your life, if you knew you were dying?

  1. Marisa (Loser for Life) says:

    I can relate to how you are feeling, M. It is so hard to let go of the negative feelings and guilt associated with this journey. This past week, I decided that I am quitting. I’m not judging myself anymore and I’m not going to obsess or guilt myself over any of my choices. Every day I WILL keep trying to do my best and make the best choices. That is how I have chosen to live – a healthy life. But, there will be slip-ups and you know what is NOT healthy…mentally healthy…?? Beating ourselves up! No more. Why? Because of this video! Life is too short!

    My new mantra: EVERY GOOD CHOICE COUNTS. Let’s focus on the good, the positive and the fun! We are healthy!

  2. Kim says:

    I’ve been where you are and there is a point you get to where you just have enough. Now I don’t stress if I eat some pizza or candy or whatever… I just accept it and get back to my organic salads and my tofu and everything else that I love because not only does it taste good, but it makes my body feel great. It really is a journey to get to the point where you don’t even have to justify eating something junky or missing a workout because you trust yourself enough to get there. I hope it doesn’t take something drastic for you to get to that point like it did for me (a traumatic divorce at age 28). I read somewhere that you have to shake up your own life or the universe will do it for you and I’m telling you, girl… you’re wiser to shake it up yourself.

  3. Erin says:

    Wow, powerful stuff. I’m trying to consciously live in the moment and live each day to its fullest. That’s what I TRY not to stress about the small stuff, or even the not-so-small stuff that isn’t terrible in the grand scheme of things.

    Friends and I were talking recently about work. They all have full-time jobs, some making a lot of money, others barely getting by. I’m the “loose cannon” who keep traveling and refusing to settle down. Although we’re all different, we’re all happy with where life has taken us right now. Sometimes it’s hard not to judge yourself against others but being able to NOT compare yourself is a big step toward acceptance.

  4. love2eatinpa says:

    very powerful video, michelle, thanks for sharing it with us.
    no-one guaranteed that life would be a bed of roses. we all have our highs and lows, ups and down. you will bounce out of this, just as you have in the past. yes, you do have choices, but sometimes it is still hard to choose what we know is right for ourselves, there are just so many forces at work. i know you will get there.
    i think what i would change, if i knew i was going to die, was to make a focused effort to live in the present. i would also eat whatever the hell i wanted! 🙂
    hang in there babe, we are all here for you.

  5. Hannah says:

    That video put me in tears too…because I am one of those quiet people she was talking about. So sad that she died so soon….

    The moment I could have died was in November 2008, not long before your ordeal in Japan, Michelle…I’ve always thought we were connected in that way, because we started on journeys about the same time…for me it’s been a journey away from depression. Now that I’m moving toward the light again, my challenge is to get back to a normal life.

    But how do you live a normal life after you realize that life is precious? What is a normal life to someone who’s almost lost their’s? How do I make my friends understand that I don’t care about trivial sh*t anymore? What career will help me feel like I’m really living? This is where my journey has brought me…but I have no regrets. I’d rather be the person I am now than who I was before. The only thing I’d regret, if I died right now, is if my family didn’t know why I love them. But they will.

    Thanks for that, I needed to vent. 😀

  6. challenges2010 says:

    If changing my life didn’t prolong or make my last days better than no I wouldn’t bother. If it meant it would go easier or add on a few years I would hope I would. Not so much for myself but for others like my family.

  7. All Women Stalker says:

    I’ve done my share of crying for the day. But this video did not spare me. Thanks for sharing this with me. Everyday, I struggle to be all that I can be. To do what matters. To be with people who matter. To not care too much about a job that’s just there to help me get by financial. To just be happy. To love completely. To embrace who I am. Now, I am stronger in my conviction to stay true to who I am inside: a child of the universe. And I will not care what people say or think. I might die tomorrow and I want to die knowing I lived life as ME.

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