I love that God has created me and has given me the ability to do far more than I ever would have imagined for myself. I love that all my little quirks can be used to help others to feel better about themselves and learn about themselves. I’ve grown to love my OCD tendencies. Sure they are annoying at times but the allow me to make my health a true priority and to keep everything in life in order even when it seems like it should fall apart. And right now I’m working on loving the fact that perfection is not always attainable and I should be okay with that. I strive so hard to be a perfect wife, pastor, friend, blogger, daughter, but sometimes I’ll fail and I need to be okay with that. I’m not supposed to be perfect and that would be boring. I need to love me imperfections and all.
Do diets work?
My answer is NO…
I almost took myself to the hospital today. I started the morning off with two little pieces of this…Coconut Rice Banana Bread. I INSTANTLY felt sick. Like run to the toilet sick. I had some cereal and toast..but still wasn’t feeling great.
I worked out..woot!
- 5 Min cardio intervals 6.5kmph 6,7,8,9,10% increasing incline every minute
- Total body weights workout
- Weight squats
- Weighted ‘Russian split squats’
- Bench Press
- French Press (not coffee) 🙂
- Weighted calf-raises
- Lat Pull Down
- Ab crunches on a ball
- 5 minute cardio
- repeat three times
1/2 c. of coconut rice post-workout. I came back and whipped up a little lunch with a Mae inspired salad dressing: 1/2 TB tahini, 1 TB yeast and 2 TB water. INSTANTLY SICK. I mean doubled over in pain sick. Like, before I went to hospital in Japan in Dec 08′ sick. I really couldn’t walk around or stand. I needed to be sitting, not moving and doubled over.
I sucked it up and tried to block it out of my mind. Perhaps a little denial, and got my new NURSING shoes!
I then realised that it just wasn’t getting any better. I was on my scotter with a flowly skirt on, trying to drive, keep from flashing everyone, and letting the tears soak into the cheek padding of my helmet.
WHY ME?!?!?!?! Haven’t I gone through enough. F–K I have given up dairy, gluten mostly, fruit down to 3 serves per day, alcohol, sugar. FOR F–K SAKE!!! What else..now maybe coconut?
I called my friend Megs, who is an ER Doctor.
She goes: Can you lay down and press your stomach?
So I laid down in the parking lot of the place I live and start pressing my stomach. It’s likes a hard rock inside.
I go: Do I got to the hospital or not? I am just so tired of being sick!
Meg: Well, see how you go for the next couple of hours and then decide.
I instantly came up to my room, lost it and then took a nap. Drooled = very tired and woke up hungry.
I made toast and this: Cinnamon Stevia fried tofu ‘french toast sticks’ with whipped cinnamon sweet tofu mousse. AMAZING. I didn’t get sick!!!!!!!
To be honest, I am just tired. I am living with 180 kids, with crazy amounts of unclear expectations on me and it gets to me. I know that I also need to be eating more oil/fat in my diet, drinking more water and getting more sleep. Letting go of being perfect.
I went to Church. It’s Ash Wednesday and in the Catholic faith (I am not Catholic) it symbolises the 40 days before Jesus was crucified. It’s a time of ‘giving up, repetance, and honouring the sacrafice that Jesus made’. Many times ‘Ash Wednesday’ is the dreeded challenge that many people look forward to, because it means..mostly…that people give up sweets.
The Priest said tonight ‘make this not a time of giving up, but a time of expanding upon your life by bettering it’. I loved that. So what have I decided?
- Adding morning fitness to my routine
- Adding a ‘glass half-full’ outlook on life
- Adding a one serve rule
I don’t care if you are or aren’t religous. I have said this over and over again. However, what if I look at my illness, whatever it is, as something that challenges me on a daily basis to CONSTANTLY be in touch with my body, to honour what it’s saying, and find the ability in it to overcome and perhaps help others?
So I ask you..if Diets don’t work…because they take away stuff. What about a Diet of adding stuff back into your life? What would you add?