Diets Aren’t Working For Me

A Self-Love reflection from Cynthia

I love that God has created me and has given me the ability to do far more than I ever would have imagined for myself.  I love that all my little quirks can be used to help others to feel better about themselves and learn about themselves.  I’ve grown to love my OCD tendencies.  Sure they are annoying at times but the allow me to make my health a true priority and to keep everything in life in order even when it seems like it should fall apart.  And right now I’m working on loving the fact that perfection is not always attainable and I should be okay with that.  I strive so hard to be a perfect wife, pastor, friend, blogger, daughter, but sometimes I’ll fail and I need to be okay with that.  I’m not supposed to be perfect and that would be boring.  I need to love me imperfections and all.

Do diets work?

My answer is NO…

First: Diets Don’t Work is my guest post at Loser for Life — check it out…then come back.
Second: NOT for my stupid stomach

I almost took myself to the hospital today. I started the morning off with two little pieces of this…Coconut Rice Banana Bread. I INSTANTLY felt sick. Like run to the toilet sick. I had some cereal and toast..but still wasn’t feeling great.

I worked out..woot!

  • 5 Min cardio intervals 6.5kmph 6,7,8,9,10% increasing incline every minute
  • Total body weights workout
    • Weight squats
    • Weighted ‘Russian split squats’
    • Bench Press
    • French Press (not coffee) 🙂
    • Weighted calf-raises
    • Lat Pull Down
    • Ab crunches on a ball
  • 5 minute cardio
    • repeat three times

1/2 c. of coconut rice post-workout. I came back and whipped up a little lunch with a Mae inspired salad dressing: 1/2 TB tahini, 1 TB yeast and 2 TB water. INSTANTLY SICK. I mean doubled over in pain sick. Like, before I went to hospital in Japan in Dec 08′ sick. I really couldn’t walk around or stand. I needed to be sitting, not moving and doubled over.

I sucked it up and tried to block it out of my mind. Perhaps a little denial, and got my new NURSING shoes!

I then realised that it just wasn’t getting any better. I was on my scotter with a flowly skirt on, trying to drive, keep from flashing everyone, and letting the tears soak into the cheek padding of my helmet.

WHY ME?!?!?!?! Haven’t I gone through enough. F–K I have given up dairy, gluten mostly, fruit down to 3 serves per day, alcohol, sugar. FOR F–K SAKE!!! What else..now maybe coconut?

I called my friend Megs, who is an ER Doctor.

She goes: Can you lay down and press your stomach?
So I laid down in the parking lot of the place I live and start pressing my stomach. It’s likes a hard rock inside.
I go: Do I got to the hospital or not? I am just so tired of being sick!
Meg: Well, see how you go for the next couple of hours and then decide
.

I instantly came up to my room, lost it and then took a nap. Drooled = very tired and woke up hungry.

I made toast and this: Cinnamon Stevia fried tofu ‘french toast sticks’ with whipped cinnamon sweet tofu mousse. AMAZING. I didn’t get sick!!!!!!!

To be honest, I am just tired. I am living with 180 kids, with crazy amounts of unclear expectations on me and it gets to me. I know that I also need to be eating more oil/fat in my diet, drinking more water and getting more sleep. Letting go of being perfect.

I went to Church. It’s Ash Wednesday and in the Catholic faith (I am not Catholic) it symbolises the 40 days before Jesus was crucified. It’s a time of ‘giving up, repetance, and honouring the sacrafice that Jesus made’. Many times ‘Ash Wednesday’ is the dreeded challenge that many people look forward to, because it means..mostly…that people give up sweets.

The Priest said tonight ‘make this not a time of giving up, but a time of expanding upon your life by bettering it’. I loved that. So what have I decided?

  • Adding morning fitness to my routine
  • Adding a ‘glass half-full’ outlook on life
  • Adding a one serve rule

I don’t care if you are or aren’t religous. I have said this over and over again. However, what if I look at my illness, whatever it is, as something that challenges me on a daily basis to CONSTANTLY be in touch with my body, to honour what it’s saying, and find the ability in it to overcome and perhaps help others?

So I ask you..if Diets don’t work…because they take away stuff. What about a Diet of adding stuff back into your life? What would you add?


10 thoughts on “Diets Aren’t Working For Me

  1. missyrayn says:

    I’m spending more time in prayer and bible reading this lenten season. I allow excuses to get the better of me and I don’t always do it. But when I’m in a habit of it I do. SO this is perfect to set my habit.

  2. louisianagrown says:

    If I were to add anything back in my life right now, it would be the motivation to be social and spend time with my friends. So often these days I find myself looking inward, spending all of my time on the computer, and completely blowing off friends when they invite me out. The work of getting myself ready and putting on a happy face for people just seems overhelming, but I’m scared I’m letting the best times of my life pass me by.

  3. charity says:

    I totally know what you are going through!! I have tried everything to fix my stomach too- given up wine, sugar, dairy, chocolate and is it better? NO.
    Going to experiment with ayurvedic stuff……good luck with your journey.

  4. Chloe says:

    Did the bread have yeast in it? Because if so, it’s definitely the yeast. When on an anti-candida diet eating yeast can definitely set off an attack, even in relatively small amounts. This can also happen with sugar, which promotes yeast growth like whoa. Hope that it was that, or something that you can figure out soon!

  5. Lisa says:

    Sorry to hear that you aren’t feeling well – I can really sense your frustration. I am wheat intolerant – and I have found that since I cut it out – even a small exposure makes me sick, way worse than I used to be before I was told to cut it out of my diet 😦

    But I AM happy to hear that the Church service helped – and the glass half full approach is such a great way to go 🙂 I try not to sweat the ‘small stuff’ so to speak….but that can be hard sometimes!

    If I had to add something back in my life – it would be spending more time with my family 🙂 They live interstate and I really need to travel to see them more often!

  6. MizFit says:

    Id add a healthy helping of IRL friends.
    For me it is thankfully NOT that I am online too much but that people are so busy that we frequently connect via email or phone even when they live down the street.

    Life is too short.

    Id add a bigbig dollop of facetoface time with friends.

    • Mish says:

      I think this is one of the most important thing. To find a balance between online and in-flesh friends. It’s easy to forget that people can actually be touched and hugged.

  7. All Women Stalker says:

    Diets that take away really don’t work for me. I don’t and never have believed in diets. But a diet or a lifestyle that allows me to be open to possibilities and gifts from the universe…. Now that’s what I need to focus on.

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