I love that I am easy going. I tend to take things as they are.
I have come to love my personality. I am shy and always felt intimidated. I am ok with being shy and reserved. I just don’t let myself get intimidated anymore.
I am working on my health. I would like to be a more “trim” version of the current.
Are you Easy-Going or High-Strung?
I can honestly feel the levels of frustration increasing every single day with my job. It’s so incredibly draining at times to be part of where I am working. I feel like I am getting nowhere with what I need to be doing. I literally wake-up with anxiety and spend the whole ENTIRE day trying to slow down the anxiety and/or do things to distract myself. This messes with my stomach, increases my flare ups, and previously has made me binge.
I wrote about what I can do to make this a positive experience, but to be honest I just want to quit. But I can’t, I need this to help subsidise the cost of living. It all ALL boils down to money, and that’s the honest truth.
Ever been stuck in a situation because of money?
I am going away this weekend on what is called ‘O-Camp’, so basically two nights of heavy drinking and I am assuming some ‘team building’ activities during the day. To be honest, I find it VERY hard to identify with this, because it’s SO NOT me. However, I am going to try and take this chance of having the new students all in one area to really get to know them. I have to stay positive, because really why not? They’re 18 years old.
This pattern of anxiety is not new. When I was teaching in AmeriCorps as an inner-city teacher the same things happened to me. I would get wildly optimistic and then crash into a deep-dark negative place. It ate me alive and I ended up leaving before my time was us. (i will note, that I was granted my award money even though I didn’t complete the full time, because the placement was deemed inappropriate.)
I guess I am sharing this, because to be honest it messes with my whole day. Much like dieting would, when I was counting points all the time. It is my sole focus. It’s so weird, because I have done this type of job for almost five years before, but I feel like I am walking into a totally new situation where I am not in control…at least I am not in control in my own mental space.
What I can change is what I do with my free time!
Welcome to Tofu and Coconut—a great stress relief!
Tofu Cinnamon Cream
200g firm tofu
.75 c. soy milk
20-30 drops of stevia
1-2 tsp cinnamon
Whip it up and devour. I would probably have added 1-2 tsp vanilla if I had any. I did add a VERY small drop of peppermint extract and it was awesome.
1 c. jasmine rice, rinsed and drained twice
2.5 c. water
.25 c. shredded coconut
3 tsp. vanilla
20 drops stevia
2 tsp. cinnamon
165ml (6oz) lite coconut milk
1. Put rice in a pan. Fill with water to cover rice. Run hand through rice until the water gets cloudy. Then drain. Repeat
2. Put rice, 2.5 c. water, coconut, vanilla stevia and cinnamon into a pot and mix
3. Over a medium heat, gently boil for about 20-25 minutes. Until all water is no longer on the top. Don’t burn. The rice will create little holes in the top and you will be able to see water ‘gurgling’ from the bottom. When there’s no longer water on top of the rice, but will spirts of water coming through the rice holes you know you’re good.
4. Stir in coconut milk and return to heat for about 3 minutes
5. Let sit for about 15 minutes
How do you reduce anxiety about the future? What do you like to bake when you need ‘to escape’?