I’ve made my decision

A Self-Love reflection from Becky

I love that I used to be a secret smoker and would never exercise and now I can run 3 miles without stopping! I love that my eyes went from brown to hazel over the course of my life and wow, what those eyes have seen so far has been amazing. I have realized how wonderful having such straight hair is, I never have to waste precious morning minutes with the likes of a straightener, thereby getting more time with my beautiful children. I love that I can admit my faults out loud to the virtual world and beyond and I am excited to continue my goal of becoming a better mom, friend, person, and well…overall, just live my life in truth.

Before I start anything, I want to say I am SO SORRY to Brandon for not linking him back properly for is Self-Love reflection. It’s all sorted, but my apologies all around.

I have been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about me, my blog, my life, and taking on school.

As I have written before, EatingJourney has been an amazing place for me to grow, expand upon, acknowledge my successes, my short-comings and my inner-most thoughts. It’s hard to even contemplate the idea of shutting it down. Walking away from it. Saying good-bye to the EJ community.

The e-mails, comments and tweets are the motivation that I have used to keep myself going. To blog when my eyes are burning out of my head, to give the little perk in the morning to see what wise advice will be bestowed upon me.

I was reading through this post this weekend by Lance.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!””

Something about that post really struck me. I need to be totally honest with myself. What my limits, strengths, uglies, pretties are. My job, my focus right now is to be in the ever approaching moment, filled with the Love of God, and to extend myself into my studies. If I am NOT doing that, then I am robbing myself of the very essence of what I am hoping to accomplish in my life.

This blog has provided the place, whereby I am in a spot of learning, re-learning, un-learning and simply be in the teaching moments which are now a part of my life. To not be able to share those experiences with you would be so sad, depressing and empty.

But, to continually spend hours upon hours glued to my blog, my google reader, and twitter–is robbing me of the precious time due to constraints that are now a part of my reality. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t the most cherished people I have in my world. However, I feel as though if I am going to enjoy my journey…I have to be present in my NOW.

So…on February 28th…I will post my last post on EJ. I will continue with Self-Love, I will write from my heart. I will write about my crazy antics. I hope that you comment your heart out. Get it all out.

I am here…In Australia…reading my readings for Nursing…singing in the choir…getting up to the parrots singing…eating with people from all around the world.

Living in the present. Knowing that five more days…it’s gonna be hard…but I know what is in my heart and this decision is right for me, right now.

M

27 thoughts on “I’ve made my decision

  1. MizFit says:

    Not to make this about me, but…. πŸ™‚
    the passage you quoted from lance is from The Invitation.

    The Invitation is something my friend who passed away a week ago used in EVERY SINGLE ONE of her career and passion finding workshops.

    It exemplified to her what was “wrong” with us americans πŸ™‚ (when we meet at a party its always WHAT DO YOU DO??) and how she wanted to change the world.

    I love the Invitation and adore that it changed your life as it and she did mine.

  2. love2eatinpa says:

    wow. obviously this was a very difficult decision for you. you clearly put a lot of time and thought into it and we respect you for that and wish you luck pursing your life’s true journey. i will miss your posts.
    i’m sure we will stay in touch. πŸ™‚

  3. Joanna Sutter says:

    I know how you feel, Mish! I’ve decided when blogging takes too much of my personal or business life or isn’t fun anymore I will cut back or stop altogether.

    It’s a tough decision but a necessary and inevitable one.

    xo

  4. Lance says:

    Mish,
    You are doing what is right for you. I adore that. And I think about where I’m at…and am I doing this?

    You, sweet friend, are an inspiration.

    Know that I am in your corner, always…and that it has been an honor to be here, to get to know you, and to feel your presence in my life.

    Godspeed,
    Lance

  5. Donna says:

    Much respect to you for making this decision. Good luck on your next “journey” and thank you for all you have contributed to mine.

  6. Leah says:

    I wish you all the best!! This is one of the reasons why I stopped blogging constantly (I now blog once per week or once every two weeks!) … it can be very time consuming when you are trying to live your life.

    Hope you take care and do well in your course πŸ™‚

  7. Katy says:

    I had a whole comment that went something like this:

    “NOOOOOOO you can’t leave us!”

    But after reading it, I realized how selfish a sentiment that was…you do what you need to do, girl, because in the end the blog is supposed to be part of your journey to happiness. If the blogging is not working toward that goal, it’s time to stop.

    Maybe it can just be goodbye for now, instead of goodbye forever?

  8. megzzwinsatlife says:

    Originally when you wrote this I was very sad but then when I sat back and thought about it I realized it was the best decision for you.. Having a blog is very time consuming and people can become obsessive.

    Good luck in your future!

  9. Susan says:

    I’m going to miss yoouuuu!!! I think where you are right now, it makes perfect sense to take a step back and be fully present in your reality (and not your online one πŸ˜› ) Our goals are all different. I want to be a health writer, so putting ridiculous amounts of energy into my blog makes sense to me, as it will help me achieve that goal. But your goals are in Australia right now. I want you to be HAPPY and LOVE yourself!! Check in once in a while, mmkay? xoxo

  10. missyrayn says:

    Mish I will miss reading your posts but I am happy that you are focusing on the important things instead of feeling tied down by overcommitting. You are a blessed woman and a true friend and I wish you nothing but happiness. Please stay in touch when you have time available.

  11. Marisa (Loser for Life) says:

    Mish, I know that must be a hard decision for you, but I am glad that you are taking care to do what is necessary for you to be successful. I can completely relate to your thoughts and feelings about blogging, reading, twitter, etc. They are enjoyable, but are also, major time sucker uppers! We need to be enjoying life and living it! You are young, energetic and beautiful! Get out there and LIVE!!!

  12. Shannon says:

    *little tear*
    I am really proud of you for following what you know in your heart. You are amazing and I would not expect anything less from you.
    There is far to much life to be stuck at a computer.
    Much love and I stalk you as much as possible if you will still let me πŸ˜‰

  13. John says:

    Haven’t followed you long but am very glad of the time I did get to follow. The time I had was very valuable. I wish you all the best in your current and future endeavours.

  14. Lisa says:

    Awww hon I am sorry to hear that EJ will be coming to an end….however it seems that you have put a lot of thought into this decision and I wish you the very best πŸ™‚

  15. Kara (@ Kara's Marathon) says:

    Good luck with your incredibly busy life outside the blogosphere! I’ll miss your amazingly insightful posts, but you are definitely making the right decision for you πŸ™‚

    Hope to still see you around the blogosphere/twitterverse!

  16. Tami says:

    I recently started following you blog and I will miss your posts, insights and thoughtful questions.

    I wish you well in life.

  17. Nicole @ Geek Turned Athlete says:

    Wow. I completely know what you mean. I find myself doing bloggy things for hours without really accomplishing anything when I should be studying or reading a book that I really want to read. Or spending time with the hubby! It is easy to be “sucked in” like that! Well, you know that if you want to email, I’ll be here! I wish you the happiness and peace that you deserve!

  18. Lara (Thinspired) says:

    Oh my goodness. I am so sad. I mean, I am happy for you that you are ready to move on to something bigger and better, but I am also sad. I feel like I am just getting to “know” you and your blog.
    One thing I wanted to say and keep forgetting to…I’m so sorry I never got back to you on a “self love” submission. I was honored that you thought to ask me. The truth is, I couldn’t really think of anything. Isn’t that horrible? I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound arrogant or contrived or disingenuous. I hope you don’t think I was being unsupportive ❀

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