Today has been one of those days..in a good way. I woke up this morning, at 6am and then tried to go back to sleep. I am EXHAUSTED! I am honestly, tired. How I am going to get through this blog post is beyond me. I then took a morning nap, and woke up in drool. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that this is a comment occurance lately..as well as renewed love of Ricky Martin. I am even ok that he’s Gay, I just want to shake my bon-bon.
I got my sleepy ass together and went to my Clinical Nursing Skills. I am in school full-time to become a Nurse. EXCITED. Here’s my partner listening to my bowel.
Bowel sounds are amazing–I am a nerd-a-soruas..I am ok with that. Then I got my little self together to head out to a movie with some friends. I have some pretty amazing friends..I’d have to say. I am/was exhausted, but I wanted to stay out way past my bedtime (9:30pm) to hang out.
You see there is a little crush in my life right now and I am doing the BEST that I can to crush the following that pop into my mind
- He is the type of guy that would only date pretty girls (this is my assumption)
- I am the heaviest I have ever been and I don’t think he’d date someone fat like me
- He probably only dates skinny girls
- I am too full on for him
The biggest thing is that my whole personal view of myself comes from my weight. YES, I know that I’ve talked about this at agnosium before, but it’s still there. I have to be honest with you as readers—to myself—that it’s something that still has SOME power over my life.
I was chatting with my friend Nicole.
Me (with the quiver of tears coming on): But I really like him a lot. He’s different and I don’t want to mess this up. I am so scared, because I feel fat, I have the heaviest I’ve been in awhile. I just don’t think that he’ll go for me at my weight.
Nicole: Why does weight matter? You’re the happiest you’ve ever been.
The tears started streaming. WHY DOES WEIGHT MATTER? Within reason, of course, it shouldn’t matter.
So, harnessing my intuitive self means listening to my soul, letting it shine, and finding the balance with food/working out which enables me to shine.
Does weight matter to you?
Harnessing My Intuitive Self