Enough IS Enough, I am putting ME first!

Today has been a bit up and down…to be honest.

I don’t know what it was..but perhaps I’ll blame Lady Antebellum for their country music for putting me in a bit of a funk (I missed home). I couldn’t really shake it all day today. In my funks I have resorted to baking. I cranked out some Banana Chocolate Chip Walnut muffins. They are also not gut friendly at all. I had 1 1/2 of the muffins and then just stopped.

In.my.tracks

You see I have bitched, complained, moaned, lusted, pined, tried to ‘be good’. I have wanted to cure my stupid stomach, my food allergies, my bingeing, my last 25ish lbs that I am carrying.

And I turned to food today when I was down…can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

What hit me is that I don’t put myself first. I don’t actually believe that I am good enough, fast enough, pretty enough, smart enough…etc.

For example when talking about myself in the dating scene I hide behind my shitty ex and what he said about me and my weight, I hide behind the obese teenager cowering from going to Prom with anyone, I hide behind the friend card because it’s easier, I hide behind intellectual conversations and counseling sessions with men. I don’t throw my charm, wit, collar bones, or hips at them.

I don’t put myself MENTALLY FIRST.

WELL GOSH DAMN DARN IT…I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

To be honest, I can’t CAN believe that I have

I busted out a 24:11 5km yesterday


I compelted 3.8 miles today in 37 minutes without stopping…AND…wanted more

I am beautiful, courageous, awesome, amazing, talented, gifted, sexy, intelligent, wholesome and THAT I ALWAYS AM.

There are times when that little voice inside of my mind creeps in and tells me that I can’t. It’s what has enabled me to attach myself to men who are assholes, people who are needy, to impossible expectations of myself and to the ability to take what I have been given (by God) and shove it down.

I ran tonight, I ran with freedom.

As I tweeted today:

from this day forward I have decided to put my intuitive self first, I am committed to silencing doubt and acting in a way that honors me

I mean it.

Have you had ‘enough is enough’ moment and just started doing what you wanted to do? Started believing in yourself?

~Mish
Harnessing My Intuitive Self

23 thoughts on “Enough IS Enough, I am putting ME first!

  1. love2eatinpa says:

    you totally rocked the run the other day. try to grab back on to that great feeling of what you and your body can do.
    your self loving is right on! don’t let the crap from the past pull you down. the past is exactly that, the past. put it in it’s place and keep moving forward, one day at a time.
    i have just started recently believing in myself and it’s been wonderful and empowering. i just took the huge leap of faith of becoming an intuitive eater because i finally am starting to believe in myself while trusting myself and my body. it has taken a LONG time to get to this place and i only pray that i stay here.

  2. Rob Dyess says:

    Well, I have defiantly had an enough is enough moment. I guess it was when I decided that I needed to loose some weight.

    Funny that you should bring up confidence today…. NOT feeling it. Have a severe case of the ho-hums.

    I mean, I am SO much more confident than I once was, but I can’t seem to sustain it.

    Thanks! Enjoy your blog!!

    WeighDownSouth.com

    • Mish says:

      I totally understand about the ho-hum feeling. I think that it will ALWAYS happen..it’s how you/I react to you. Keep up the amazing work!

  3. Steve says:

    Hey, you wanna know something awesome?

    (You are)

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’ve had the “enough is enough” moments, but I’m working on the “believing in myself” part ๐Ÿ™‚ Making good progress, I think!

  4. hungryforbalance says:

    I have had my share of “enough” moments and the truth is that most things I’m not able to stop instantly. It’s a daily project to live the life I know I’m capable of and deserve. Some days are full of ease and joy and on other days I need to give myself a big pep-talk ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. karen says:

    Far toooo many of the “enough is enough.” I think, though, that this week has been one big “I can do it.”

    I did the bike challenge Monday that I didn’t think would be possible in a gazillion years (or at least not in 30 more pounds).

    I agreed to “tag along” on a friends’ challenge that she’s doing on her blog.

    I already have the workout dvd for tonight in the player and am just waiting for the little guy to go to bed and then I WILL be doing it.

    Next week? Well, that will be even better!

  6. Mad Woman says:

    What a fantastic post! So powerful. I recently had a moment like that myself. I ended up sitting my family down and telling them that I MUST have time to myself. It’s working so far. I’m able to take regular time to myself…physically AND mentally.

    It’s so important!

    • Mish says:

      It’s amazing when you say ‘this is what I need’…how people respect it. I mean that. AND you are able to give better to those around you.

  7. charity says:

    I totally know how you feel. You are rocking it Mish!! I piss and moan about my last 5lbs to lose and then snack at night when I KNOW I’m not hungry…..I need to take control!! Easier said than done. I love your blog because I know I’m not the only one plus I want to beat your running times!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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