I was reading People.com today (because let’s be honest, when I realised that I could get wireless internet in the library, I knew that maintaining a committed study regime was out the window). Anyways, I came across this interview with Lady Gaga: ‘Lady Gaga Tells Fans: ‘Don’t Have Sex’.
Lady Gaga is quoted as saying:
“I can’t believe I’m saying this – don’t have sex,” Gaga said in England, where she is promoting MAC’s Viva Glam Campaign to fight AIDS. “It’s okay not to have sex, it’s okay to get to know people,” she says. “I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”
“It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”
Without going to deep into my NOT deep sexual history, I’d have to say that intimacy for me is one that I have struggled with. When I say intimacy I put it even beyond sex. Cuddling, talking, opening up, looking at someone as the person they are, feeling as though I am worthy.
Throughout the past 1+year I have had to really dig deep into my little soul and ask myself some tough questions. I had to become intimate with myself.
I had to get down and dirty with the emotional baggage that was causing me to binge eat, to shut people out, to focus my attention on people who did nothing but drag me down.
I think it’s really scary to write this, but I have never had a romantic relationship/encounter where I have felt totally intimate with someone. I have had flings, a steady relationship etc. However, I have never allowed myself to be full engaged in any of those situations. I’ve been naked, had ‘intimate’ moments with people. But there are literally a handful of times where I can remember being in the moment. In that, there are moments throughout my life, when I wasn’t naked…ie in a beautiful place, where I have robbed the situation of intimacy because my mind was wandering somewhere else.
There are many times when I have been reading through blogs, in fact Mary’s, Ryan’s and Karena’s today, where the topic of self-love/sabotage were raised. I have written about this before and it’s something that I was dealing with last night. I think what it really boils down to is allowing yourself to being open to loving who you are. Opening your heart to what you’ve accomplished, what you can become and what you want to become.
Allowing yourself to be intimate with yourself and others.
Yes, intimacy at the very basic is sex. Sex is beautiful when you let yourself totally be in the moment, when you’re with someone and not only are you enjoying it…but you’re able to truly enjoy the moment that you have with that person. There were SO many times when I was worried about being fat, being naked..that it robbed that time with my partner of me. But it really robbed me of me.
More though, intimacy is about being self-confident. It’s about loving who you are. It’s about letting people love you.
Have you struggled with intimacy? What are your thoughts on this?
Harnessing My Intuitive Self