Dear False Self,
Thank you for thinking that you can creep back into my life. After a glorious weekend of being who I want to be and using the techniques that I have garned, you want to creep back in. You take advantage of the exams that I have, also the sleep deprived state I am in.
It’s funny, isn’t it, that you know exactly when to come back into my life. It’s like an old flame, a piece of chocolate cake—you just sit there waiting for me to show a sign of weakness. You creep in when I talk about exam questions with friends, you creep in everyone morning when I am tired, telling me that ‘you can workout tomorrow’. You FLY in at night, telling me that eating sugar is ok, eating stuff that makes my tummy hurt is normal, and that you will start over tomorrow.
So I sit down and think about how much of my life you’ve had. A lot, I know this.
Well, love. I am sorry to say, that you need to pack your shit and get out. Cause really, it’s over.
I am vowing to listen to my TRUE self. Even if you think you can knock on my door, fly through my window, come to a party, sit with me during an exam, hold me back during runs—I am here to say…nope. Nope in the most calm, convicted manner I can find.
I really am not going to put up with it anymore. Not for one more second. I won’t live by diet rules, I won’t live in self-doubt, unadhered to study plans/fitness promises. I know that you’re going to be hard to shake, I get that. I get it so loud and clear, that I’d almost rather run a marathon, cause at least I know that there’s an end.
Just so you know, I’ve already packed your shit for you.