Death’s Door

As some of you may know, I am a nursing student right now.

I went to go and help a Murse (male nurse) insert pain medication up the bum of an old man. NOT glamorous. I was looking over his body and realised that his feet and hands were like an auburn colour and totally swollen.

What became very apparent to me, is that man was NOT in good shape.

I asked the Murse and he goes ‘two days ago he was able to respond to questions, knew where he was. Now he’s 24-48 hours away from dying.’

The family he has is his daughter.
The life he led, I hope it was full.

I think that many times it’s so easy to get caught up in the wants/needs/desires of life. But it made me realise something that I’ve never really had to deal with before..dying. That all of the choices that we make, the daily ones to feed our bodies, give it sleep, starve it, hate it, love it, sex it, relax it…all do ADD UP.

I struggle with the diet restrictions that I have (no dairy, gluten, soy, almonds, kidney beans, coffee, fruit–limted quanities) and to be honest I haven’t actually given any of them up 100% because ‘I have the rest of my life to live’ ‘It isn’t THAT bad for me’.

But the point is, is that every single day we’re making a tick in the box or not for perhaps 10 more minutes with those who love us.

That man was beautiful and he was dying painfully.

I just want to hug him and say Thank You, for making me realise that my life is too damn precious to waste.

~Mish
Harnessing My Intuitive Self

13 thoughts on “Death’s Door

  1. JourneyBeyondSurvival says:

    You just put a new perspective on watching my father in law die this month.

    It was hard and painful. He was tested to the utmost. Patience has always been tough for him, and he handled things at par or a bit below. It was not an easy death. The delirium seemed to ease things for him, but it was harder for the family.

    Your point-to turn it on it’s ear and apply it to myself-seems to make everything come into focus.

    Thank you. I love your perspective.

    • Mish says:

      I am glad that you found a new perspective in that. I often wonder sometimes if I should write what I write, but I knew that I should..cause it affected me. Thank you for sharing that.

  2. Diana says:

    It’s true. We do have to take care of ourselves to be able to enjoy the people we love better and longer.
    I couldn’t imagine doing that kind of work. It must get… overwhelming, sometimes.

  3. Helen says:

    Last year on April 28th we lost my 39 year old brother-in-law in a tragic accident. This past weekend, we got the news that my 50 year old sister-in-law is going to die soon. Every single time I start to feel above it all, all I have to do is think of one of them and I am grounded again. Your life is beautiful and what you make of it in the time God gives you. Never forget that.

  4. RNegade says:

    One day I took care of a patient whose only desire was to be able to sit on the edge of his bed and drink a cup of coffee with another human being. That was it. He wanted a nice cup of coffee with cream, and some companionship. I sat beside him, and we pretended his bedside tray-table was a table in a Paris cafe. We sipped our coffee, mostly in silence. I saw he was happy.

    When I showed up for my shift two days later, I heard he had died in the night. I had thought he had weeks, or even months, to live. I was so glad I had taken the time to share “a cuppa joe” with him.

    • Mish says:

      I was reading through the comments on my iphone in the middle of the country. I almost started crying in the car when I read this. It’s been swirling around in my head the whole week. I just really appreciate you sharing this on so many levels. It’s goregous.

  5. Shannon says:

    Waw what an experience. The reality of how fragile it all is huh? I know without a doubt these encounters happen just to remind us to not take things for granted. Thanks for sharing.

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