It’s interesting when you think about the word ‘Perfect’. It’s the pinnacle of what many of us toy with every day.
Throughout my life, I have strived for perfection. I was in the top part of my class, strived for nothing but A’s through school, and stopped at nothing to have the ‘tip top’ resume.
In fact I remember when I entered into college, I BAWLED my eyes out to my professor because I got a B+ in his class. ‘I have never gotten anything lower any an A before, I don’t think that I can handle this’. Then I got a C- on one of my essays, I will never EVER forget the ‘walk of shame’ out of my professor’s office. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was struggling, it had everything to do with the fact that I felt I had let her down, that it wasn’t perfect.
I decided to step into the world of dieting hard-core my Junior year of college. I wanted to lose weight so that I could be like the ‘thin’ girls bouncing around campus living off of salad, cheap beer and elliptical machines. They seemed perfect to me.
I lost 100lbs and it was great. I honestly loved the feeling of losing weight, feeling good about my body and being in control of the shape that it was taking. There were moments when I struggled with my weight loss. I battled through plateaus, pot lucks and days when exercise just didn’t really feel all that great. However, I was happy with my body. Even though it wasn’t perfect, I has content.
Then I got into a relationship with someone who really wanted me to be Perfect.
As per normal, I made sure that I was living my life for someone/thing outside of who I was. You see my whole sense of validation, the validation that came with being perfect, was from either a diet plan, my shrinking body, or people’s acceptance and accolades.
Once I had lost the weight, and was dubbed ‘skinny’ I knew that I was finally PERFECT for HIM. But, boy was I empty.
In my post-single world, Perfect was the leading cause of binge eating, lack of exercise, abuse of exercise, depression, and an all-around terrible place that I spiraled myself into. I had dug myself out of it for the most part through my faith, understanding that I don’t need to be perfect and for the first time realising that I AM ENOUGH!
The reason that I share this with you, is that You will NEVER be PERFECT…If you don’t see yourself as perfect right now! You will change, progress, lose/gain weight, move on in life, and find peace. In each state that you’re in you’re good enough, beautiful, worthy, and PERFECT.
Its taken me a long time to realise this, but I have PERFECT freedom now…sometime I have only recently began reaping the joys of.
Do you strive for perfection? What does being ‘perfect’ mean to you?
Trying NOT to freak out about all the work I need to be doing..speaking of which