Being Perfect

It’s interesting when you think about the word ‘Perfect’. It’s the pinnacle of what many of us toy with every day.

The perfect:

partner, student, dieter, exerciser, friend, mother, father, sibling, daughter, son

Throughout my life, I have strived for perfection. I was in the top part of my class, strived for nothing but A’s through school, and stopped at nothing to have the ‘tip top’ resume.

In fact I remember when I entered into college, I BAWLED my eyes out to my professor because I got a B+ in his class. ‘I have never gotten anything lower any an A before, I don’t think that I can handle this’. Then I got a C- on one of my essays, I will never EVER forget the ‘walk of shame’ out of my professor’s office. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was struggling, it had everything to do with the fact that I felt I had let her down, that it wasn’t perfect.

I decided to step into the world of dieting hard-core my Junior year of college. I wanted to lose weight so that I could be like the ‘thin’ girls bouncing around campus living off of salad, cheap beer and elliptical machines. They seemed perfect to me.

I lost 100lbs and it was great. I honestly loved the feeling of losing weight, feeling good about my body and being in control of the shape that it was taking. There were moments when I struggled with my weight loss. I battled through plateaus, pot lucks and days when exercise just didn’t really feel all that great. However, I was happy with my body. Even though it wasn’t perfect, I has content.

Then I got into a relationship with someone who really wanted me to be Perfect.

As per normal, I made sure that I was living my life for someone/thing outside of who I was. You see my whole sense of validation, the validation that came with being perfect, was from either a diet plan, my shrinking body, or people’s acceptance and accolades.

Once I had lost the weight, and was dubbed ‘skinny’ I knew that I was finally PERFECT for HIM. But, boy was I empty.

In my post-single world, Perfect was the leading cause of binge eating, lack of exercise, abuse of exercise, depression, and an all-around terrible place that I spiraled myself into. I had dug myself out of it for the most part through my faith, understanding that I don’t need to be perfect and for the first time realising that I AM ENOUGH!

The reason that I share this with you, is that You will NEVER be PERFECT…If you don’t see yourself as perfect right now! You will change, progress, lose/gain weight, move on in life, and find peace. In each state that you’re in you’re good enough, beautiful, worthy, and PERFECT.

Its taken me a long time to realise this, but I have PERFECT freedom now…sometime I have only recently began reaping the joys of.

Do you strive for perfection? What does being ‘perfect’ mean to you?

~Mish
Trying NOT to freak out about all the work I need to be doing..speaking of which

9 thoughts on “Being Perfect

  1. Karen (KCLAnderson) says:

    Love this!

    And it reminds me of something I read and saved: Nine Ways Excellence Out Performs Perfection (and so I strive for excellence, not perfection 🙂

    Excellence is willing to be wrong.
    Perfection is being right.

    Excellence is risk.
    Perfection is fear.

    Excellence is powerful.
    Perfection is anger and frustration.

    Excellence is spontaneous.
    Perfection is control.

    Excellence is accepting.
    Perfection is judgment.

    Excellence is giving.
    Perfection is taking.

    Excellence is confidence.
    Perfection is doubt

    Excellence is flowing.
    Perfection is pressure.

    Excellence is journey.
    Perfection is destination.

  2. Hollie says:

    I could have written this post… I identify with it on so many levels. Except for the losing weight part…

    In my life, I think I always strive for perfection in all other areas because I KNOW I will fail in weight loss. “I might not be skinny, but I am smart!” or “I might be fat, but at least I am a great mom!”. Weight loss has always been that area in my life that is unachievable.

    Thanks for this post!

    • Mish says:

      That is such an interesting comment. I would have written that comment on repeat for the past two years. But something changed in me that said YES I CAN. I don’t know what it is, but to be honest my new mantra is ‘Your Thoughts Become Your World’. If you think you can’t, you won’t. If there’s just a little glimmer of YES I CAN, listen to it KNOW. Just hold onto that and keep going. You’re doing amazing things.

  3. Karena says:

    This is something I struggle with a lot — I give it good lip service, but really believing it?? I’m working on it. At least now I recognize how important it is to be happy in myself, as I am right now. That’s far and away a better place than I was even three months ago.

    Love the statement: “I knew that I was finally PERFECT for HIM. But, boy was I empty.” Man, have I been there. Living for yourself and your own happiness is vital.

  4. missyrayn says:

    I used to ache to be perfect. I had to do everything right. And sometimes I still have that in me. But I’ve learned that God loves me the way that I am and who am I to say that I’m not loveable and perfect if I’m created in God’s image.

    • Mish says:

      That is one of the reasons why I am able to look back at myself now and realise that in the present and future..I AM enough 🙂

  5. Maria (realfitmama) says:

    I needed this post today! I fight myself with this topic on the regular. I feel like I have to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect blogger, the perfect whatever. I compare myself to others more than I care to admit and it is a struggle everyday to stop those feelings and thoughts. I am the best me…that’s all I can be. 🙂

  6. seattlerunnergirl says:

    This is something I struggle with as well. And I constantly wonder, “If I can ace school, get a law degree, run a business, and be successful in every other part of my life, why can’t I lose weight?!”

    Of course, the lie is that I can’t. Of course I can. And I will. And it won’t be perfect, but nothing ever is and I sure am not. And I’m learning how to be okay with that.

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