After writing the Dear Michelle, post I knew that something was changing in me.
It has been a culmination of events over the past few months
- My Faith
- Sobbing on a couch
- Starting Fight to the Finish
- People in my life
- Going down south
- Sucking it up and doing the race
- Going to the ball
- Writing the letter to myself
I have been pining, lusting, hoping, wanting, desiring, praying, DEMANDING that I get to a place in my life where I simply am. The past two weeks have been hard for me. Friendships in my life have dried up a bit, school has been VERY difficult and I haven’t had a routine which has enabled me to lose weight.
Thus, when I get stressed I start to obsess about what I haven’t done right, the fact that Ryan is ‘winning’ and that I am not losing weight, and ……..
I lose track of who I am.
I have to say that all of the immense comments about how gorgeous I looked from the ball on both the blog and my FB page were almost overwhelming. But something started to change inside of me…. I DID LOOK AMAZING. Not just for that moment, but there was something in my soul that started to really REALLY believe that I am an attractive, beautiful, intelligent, capable, honest women.
More though, that perhaps…just perhaps…I could start living the life that I’ve wanted.
It has started with these.
And mulling over passages like this.
And baking this (brandy infused banana bread) and not finding the need/desire to shove it in my face to shut out the REAL me whilst feeding the FALSE me.
I don’t know what to say. Except that the moment..and I mean the MOMENT that I decided to see myself the way that I know everyone has been telling me that I am…was the moment that I started to open my eyes to all that I am.
Do you see yourself as others do?
Harnessing My Intuitive Self