I have shared a bit about my faith and I discuss it more over here. However, I was driving around today packing my life up into boxes, suitcases and old garbage cans.
Pictures of the last four years. Old cards from friends years ago. Cards when I first left for Australian encouraging me. My Bible. My books. My taxes. My whole life, as I know it, packed into cars and driven back to where I started.
I am moving back to where I started four years ago….but with a new fire.
I like the idea of going back to your roots, your foundation. It’s widely refreshing and yet dangerous in some ways. Am I actually a different person or will I get sucked back into the old patterns that moving helped me escape in some instances?
I have been thinking a lot about my recent transformation, toying with intuitive eating (great post about this) and my faith. I feel like I have branched away, for the most part, from having to be anything to anyone inregards to my weight. I am mostly happy with where I am at. Am learning how to balance food and exercise as a LIFESTYLE choice and not a diet and finding pride in what I have accomplished.
BUT
With my faith I am struggling.
I am looking at ALL of the rules of Christianity and freaking out. I am finding myself wanting to rebel and not nurture my growing spirituality. I am mentally being sucked down with rules/expectations/examples of ‘perfect Christians’/people who are trying to be perfect but ‘slip up’.
It’s almost like being in a community of people who are obsessed about body image, eating uber clean and then blogging about how they aren’t perfect. Just like I did with food…until I said I am going to stop and just be.
I hope that in some ways this resonates with you: either where you are and/or where you’ve been. I think that eating intuitively is so much more than that. It’s living intuitively and being who you are by not only honouring your health, but honouring your soul.
Thoughts?
~Mish
eatingjourney.wordpress.com 
I’m not a religious person, so I can’t really say much about your dilemma with Christianity. But as far as intuitive eating goes, sometimes I just have to sit myself down, close my eyes and tell myself to just BREATHE. I may not understand why sometimes my body craves two bowls of cereal in the morning instead of one, but I listen to it anyway.
~Amanda
Jewy McJewerson here 🙂
Ive struggled with lots over my years but for some reason FAITH is not a place where I have.
I love this and exactly how I feel.
You need to get your eyes off the “rules” and back onto the One you have faith in. The Cross erased the Law. It’s not about rules Mish, it’s about Relationship.
Helen that you for saying it’s about relationship. I think that I have struggled throughout my life to maintain relationships on some level. With myself and now with my spritual journey due to the perceived ‘need’ to be perfect. I appreciate, and am growing, into the idea that it’s all about relationship. Thank you.
I struggled with my faith a lot over the years. It wasn’t until I gave up all of the rules and expectations and just let myself FEEL my spirituality that I was able to make peace with it. I don’t even know if that makes sense, really.
I think it’s the same with food. Rules rob us of being able to feel.
Ditto what Helen said.
Helen said it perfectly! 🙂
Living by the “rules” of Christianity almost destroyed me. I analyzed every decision in light of if it made me good or bad.
But living my relationship with God and not with the rules saved me. It allowed me to be me. I mess up still but my goal is holiness…to be like Christ.
Don’t be held down by the rules. Live for God and your relationship with him. When you do the “rules” come easier and you don’t obsess about them.
Mish,
I love this post. So honest and true to the Christian experience we all have. God is so patient and loving with us. He has guidelines for how to live so that we may be the most happy and free in Him. Whenever I think of these things as rules, I step away and just look at Him. Look Him and think about how much He loves me. If I were the only person on earth, He would have still gone to the cross and died for me. I am His precious creation, and so are you. A beloved daughter! When I look at how much He loves me, I want to try for Him. Not for myself, not for some perfectionistic goal, but for Him. If He loves me so much, like a loving parent, He knows what is good for me. Sin is just a way of tearing me away from Him (guilt, self centeredness, pride, etc.). Whenever I feel guilty for my sins, I remember that Satan is also known as “The Accuser.” The Devil loves to lead us away from God’s plan and then throw our mistakes in our faces and let our guilt destroy us. If you mess up, run to Jesus’ arms and let Him love you. Then get back up and walk in the way laid out for you. I am in awe of how a being can love us this much. We really can’t even begin to comprehend it – He loves us more than a guy, a mom, a dad, a brother, sister, best friend – explore that love and follow Him 🙂
I’ve been thinking about your post quite a bit this morning.
I’m one of those people who is often striving- to be better, to do better. Sometimes I cross the line a bit (or a lot!)
I believe in Jesus, so I believe he freed me from trying to EARN grace, acceptance, love. But so often I don’t live like I believe that at all.
Hm.
Mich, I love reading your posts because you seem to be able to articulate the things that I can’t and the things that I’ve been avoiding thinking about. After this bout with serious doubts and trying to figure out what I really believe I know that my faith will never be the same as it was but I don’t think it was that healthy in the first place.
Yeah, I don’t really know what I have to contribute here except to say that I feel ya.
It’s funny when I think that perhaps I will never be where I was with weight, but I am weirdly ok with that because I wasn’t happy. I long after the ‘body’ that I had, but I don’t long after the broken spirit I had. So perhaps it’s the same for you and your faith. You may not be where you were, but perhaps you are where you’re now in a new light.
I’m loving this post.. congratulations and thank you for being so forthcoming with all of us.. It’s hard to do that sometimes..
“It’s living intuitively and being who you are by not only honouring your health, but honouring your soul.” – couldn’t agree with this more…
Look forward to the next post*
Being a Christian is kinda like being a kid and God being like your parents. Stick with me here – they only want whats best for you, and whilst they get cross if you stuff up, it doesn’t change how much they love you. Same deal with God. It’s not about trying not to slip up, cos it’s inevitable, its about understanding that if you love Him, slipping up doesn’t make you a bad person in God’s eyes, just like it wouldn’t in your parents eyes if you love them and tell them often. Simplistic? probably, but it works for me 🙂