It’s been 21 days free from binging.
That’s three weeks.
I haven’t been three weeks from binging in forever. In fact, I don’t remember when. Why? Because when I was actively dieting I would allow myself a day where I ate whatever I wanted. I binged all day long. It was the feeling of release.
These 21 days have been crazy.
I have packed up, moved, un-packed, started a new job and took on the 1/2 marathon training as the absolute goal for myself and my mom.
This would have NORMALLY induced binges up the ying-yang.
I have overeaten, but even that has become less. I have almost binged twice with cookies.
Then I pulled myself back.
What is interesting is that I have lost weight, I think somewhere around seven lbs. I wasn’t intending to lose weight. That is my body thanking me for not shoving 10,000+ calories that it doesn’t need. My stomach and gastro issues have weirdly started to go back to normal (did I just write that?)
But what is even more amazing is the transformation of my being.
I have found my spirit again.
I have found my love in who I am again.
I have found that fire.
I have found the fighter in me.
My workout clothes are a bit loser.
My muffin top is smaller.
My bras fit a bit better.
My underwear don’t cut into my thighs.
I am beginning to realise that what I have inside of me is enough..it’s my source of energy, light, peace, grace, fire, strength….
I know that parties, endless buffets are ahead of me this weekend. But I know that in my heart I need not be afraid. I don’t need to starve myself before hand so I can ‘let lose’.
All I have to do, is keep doing what I am doing.