If Not A Binger…Who Am I?

My students kids are almost all tucked into their beds. I myself have been tucking myself into bed pretty much every night around 10pm. What amazes me is that they come over to Australia with their luggage packed, the spirits tucked away, and little sprouts, buds and blossoms of who they are.

We were sitting around tonight, as we do everynight for the first week, and do 2 minutes of questions. Someone gets the ‘hot seat’.

There is the introspective girl, I adore her…cause she’s after my own heart, and I ask her: What are you most proud of?

(see sits and thinks)

She then goes “putting myself out there, coming to Australia and being ready for this adventure”

I looked at her and then thought back to Miz’s post about Self-Objectification

MizFit defined it’s when we see ourselves as an OBJECT first and a person (a being who is enough simply by BEING) second.

MizFit defined it’s seeing yourself through someone elses eyes & allowing that to color (or cause you to lose completely) your perspective on yourself.

There are two points which I want to make about this:

1. As Miz talks about..if we look at ourselves through other people’s lens then we are robbing ourselves of our own opinion.

2. If we constantly fill the role/label that we’ve slapped onto ourselves…what do we become when we take it off?

I KNOW that #2 is why I stayed a dieter/yo-yo crazy WW pseudo-follower/binger for SO long.

If I wasn’t a dieter?
If I wasn’t a binger?
If I wasn’t constantly talking about food (as Jen pointed out)?

THEN WHO AM I?

We fill the roles in our lives that we think others want us to fill.
We fill the roles in our lives that we think WE need to fill.

We fill the roles in our lives because we are afraid to be anything other than that…even if we aren’t happy.

What would have happened if my student would have stayed within her shy self?

What would happen if you branched out?

~Mish

p.s. it’s 28 days. 4 weeks. hell yes!

9 thoughts on “If Not A Binger…Who Am I?

  1. Karen@WaistingTime says:

    How can it be that at 47 years of age I read what Miz has been writing and then I read this and I just have to ask myself “who am I?” I think I have defined myself as a mother for so long now that I don’t know who Karen is outside of that. But maybe I can figure it out. Because, despite the fact that my current life is a bit too focused on the whole eating/dieting/weight thing, I am sure that there is more to me. Thanks for making me think about this.

    • Mish says:

      it’s scary, but it’s also really freeing to be able to look at yourself beyond just dieting etc. I think that people get lost in roles sometimes and come up ‘for air’ and realise that they don’t know who they are. I also think, that is why people say that as they get older, they tend to get more free. I think it’s the realisation that you become who you want to become and not worry so much about what others think.

  2. Miz says:

    love the post
    love karens comment

    it took me a longasswhile to loosen my attachment to my selfdefinition (and I wasnt even at the mother place then either) as for me it had gotten to the “pain I know is BETTER than the pain I dont know” place as well

  3. Katie @ Health for the Whole Self says:

    This is somewhat related:

    For a long time the dieting/bingeing cycle gave me a goal. Either I was working toward dropping weight fast, or I was completely engrossed in escaping/numbing through food. Even if I didn’t see it as my identity, I saw it as my primary activity – my GOAL.

    So when I completely let go of any weight loss goals – or any other “goals” involving food – I found space for broader goals, ones more in tune with the life I wanted to live in the long term. I found I was able to shape my future in a way that focusing on the food didn’t allow.

  4. KCLAnderson (Karen) says:

    AWESOME post!!!

    And I think it’s funny that the other Karen is also 47 😉

    Anyway, I hadn’t really thought about it in the terms you used, but for the longest time I defined myself as the fat girl/woman who was afraid and defensive, then I was the woman who was losing weight and exercising, then I was the woman who had lost 55 pounds and was an eDiets success story (and so on), then I was the woman who was running, then I was the woman who regained some weight, then I was the woman who was desperate again…

    Until…until I got off that merry-go-round. I’ve been getting off of it for 18 months now! HA!!

    And now I am me…

  5. Laurie says:

    You hit the nail on the head. I am getting sick of this role. My friend said the other day, what would happen if you stopped focusing so much on this.
    I love what Katie said too.
    I think I may have missed a post, who are these students you speak of? I love what that student said!

    • Mish says:

      yep and it’s knowing it and deciding to change. it’s not wanting to change and then slipping back..it’s making the HUGE step and going for it!!!!

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