Naked on The Scale, Thinking.

I am having a great weekend. It’s just been lovely. I have been enjoying my students. I took a couple of them to church today and then we went out to gelato!

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Who doesn’t love a double scoop of gelato (passion fruit/blood orange)

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This whole excursion got me thinking about what had happened earlier this morning. I have been totally taken back by this post by Alan. His words resonated with me and have sparked me thinking all weekend.

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What are you waiting for?”   I have asked myself this question for most of my life.

I have had a bit of a ‘validating need’ type of a relationship with the scale lately. If I am going to let go of dieting can I actually lose the weight that I want? Then I stood there naked and looked at my clothes.

If I was able to get into those jeans again
If I was able to be at 168lbs again
If I was in a relationship again
If I was able to look like I did again
If I was able to stick to a healthy diet again

……..I WOULDN’T BE HAPPY!

I am looking at the end ‘goal’ and forgetting the most important part…the journey. If I choose to equate my happiness solely with a goal weight, a size of jean, or exercising every single day…then I am forgetting about nurturing my spirit along the way. I did that once. I got to 168lbs and I was f-ing miserable.

I had a choice this morning…to let a number rob me of the journey or recognise it as something that isn’t as important as waking up every morning with a smile on my face…cause no matter what I am harnessing my spirit.

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I don’t know why I haven’t embraced that before. Why I have shied away from loving myself right now in this very moment. Why I kept thinking that I wouldn’t find someone til I was thin. Why I let the scale ruin so many days. Why I punished myself with exercise. Why I let my spirit die.

But I can tell you something…I am so looking forward to just embracing my body, my mind, my spirit.

I don’t know what to tell you except the end goals in life, if you’re not satisfied on the way, will not bring what you’re hoping for. So I urge you to stop trying to tick boxes as a way to bring you what you’re wanting…instead go skip down the street on the way to your final goal of becoming what you’ve always wanted to be.

Ever accomplished a goal, to be left unsatisfied? why?
Ever accomplished a goal and left satisfied? why?

~Mish

23 thoughts on “Naked on The Scale, Thinking.

  1. Karena says:

    Loved this! And adore that pic of you — beautiful. I think your satisfaction at accomplishing a goal depends on what your original objective was. If you, say, train for and run a half marathon because you think it will help you lose weight, chances are you’ll still be unsatisfied when you cross the line. But if you train for and run the race for the challenge of it alone, I think you’d cross the line satisfied. I know I will!

  2. Princess Dieter says:

    Okay, maybe this will sound just too simplistic or buttkissy, but honestly, i’m looking at your pic(s), and your size, and your general look, and your face, and I’m wondering why you don’t like what you see. I think you look just soooo good. You do not look like you need to lose weight. Do not look fat at all to me. You look healthy and pretty and full of life. You look GOOD.

    So, why you can’t embrace that person I am looking at weight-wise, never mind the other stuff, but WEIGHT-wise, I don’t know.

    I think that’s some pretty lovable stuff.

  3. Charlie says:

    the one thing my nearly 40 years have taught me is that balance in everything you do in life is the key to happiness.

    Too much of any one thing (from food to over-thinking, work, free time, too many hobbies, exercise, sloth etc) causes an imbalance which will ultimately need correcting somehow. We never achieve this, of course, and obsessing about the balance can easily become a bad thing and an issue in its own right!

    Live, love, play, work, breathe and be happy and the balance bit will fall into place – numbers on the scales are just minor details and compared to the rest of it, are really not worth obsessing over

    Love the pic 🙂

  4. Mara Lapin says:

    Embrace yourself, like you say, and take care of everything you are, not just some measurement that culture forces upon us.

    For a long time I’ve been waiting for my life to start. I always thought that when I achieved *that* my life would start and I would be someone. *that* could be anything. When I achieved *that* it would all start over again with a new *that*. It made me feel worthless. I was never good enough. I wasn’t worth loving in my own eyes.

    I’m working on accepting my current state of life. I won’t wait until I’m healthy again, or till I’ve got a job. I’m living my life now and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I no longer want to be ashamed of where I am in life.

  5. Katie @ Health for the Whole Self says:

    I love everything about this post. Your point about relishing the JOURNEY is so important, and it applies to so many aspects of life. Too often we get so focused on the end goal that we can’t even enjoy it once we reach it. If we can just slow down and actually enjoy the process, we can live life to the fullest RIGHT NOW! 🙂

    • Mish says:

      I am REALLY focusing on ‘not wanting to lose weight’ and replacing it with living and making healthy decisions. But it’s hard katie. REALLY hard…but the longer I linger in this psuedo-want-to-end-it-phase the longer I waste time.

  6. Erin says:

    That TwitPic is *amazing*. It should seriously be posted to your mirror, doors, background on your computer, etc. as a reminder of what total joy looks like.

  7. rebekah (clarity in creation.) says:

    i am so proud of you! it’s such a turning point when you get here.

    when i got sick, i was/am the thinnest i’ve ever been… and you know what? nothing changed about my life, or the way i felt about myself, until i changed INSIDE. i was thin, but i sure as heck wasn’t happy because the inside didn’t match the outside.

  8. KCLAnderson (Karen) says:

    You so rock Mish…and it’s funny because my lowest weight (in recent memory) was 168…and it wasn’t low enough (at the time).

    Your post reminds me of something a good friend posted on Facebook today:

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~
    Joseph Campbell

    I ❤ Joseph Campbell

    It also reminds me of this:

    People assume that if you don't have their passion for their priorities that you aren't ambitious or committed enough. The reality is that everyone saves their commitment and ambition for their own priorities. Or they spend their lives unhappy because they're following someone else's dream instead of their own.

    I think it's hard to know what we really want for ourselves because we're bombarded with what everyone else thinks is important.

  9. Cynthia (It All Changes) says:

    The goal I accomplished and was miserable was graduating early and going to college early. I pushed myself so hard in school (I was home schooled) that I didn’t really build up my friendships with anyone and so I don’t really have an old friend from HS and I didn’t take care of my mental health so I was sick when I got to college. This means I don’t have very many friends from college either. I often feel that if I had taken the time to focus on my health (mentally and in realtionships) I would have had more fun in HS and college instead of feeling so alone somedays.

    The goal I accomplished and felt great was running a 10K. I did it for me. Not because someone told me to do so or to lose weight or any of the normal reasons I started running. I wanted to do it and I worked for it hard. Sure I wasn’t the fastest but I had a blast and I’m proud looking at my medal everyday on my night stand. I did it for ME!

  10. Danielle says:

    This post is amazing! (As is that picture. You just ooze happiness!)

    I think the reason I’m actually sticking with my new lifestyle; healthier diet, daily exercise, etc., is because of exactly what you touched on here. I changed my way of thinking. I don’t want to lose 10 lbs in 3 months. I don’t want to fit in a size 8 dress by New Years. I want to enjoy life! I want to be happier, healthier, more energetic. I want to be able to live life without worrying about not being fit enough to do something.

    Every day I try to look in the mirror and see what my boyfriend, family and friends see – a fun, friendly, happy, pretty girl who really can do anything if she just sets her mind to it. And I’m trying to remember that every day is a day I’ll never get back, never be able to do over, and to enjoy every possible minute of it exactly the way I am.

  11. Kate says:

    Goals are good for me, because I tend to procrastinate. But being joyful while I work to reach a goal is important too.

  12. dmcgirl37 says:

    Oh yes, every time I lost weight I was un satisfied. It was never enough and when it finally was I was so unhealthy and in a constant state of panic to make sure I stayed that way. It was a miserable existence!!

    I then made the mistake thinking once I gained the weight back I would be happy lol….MISTAKE

    It’s really about being happy on the inside..that is all!!

    Dana xoxo
    http://www.happinessiswithin.wordpress.com/

  13. SeattleRunnerGirl says:

    I LOVE that photo of you!

    For as long as you think you won’t find someone until you’re thin, you won’t…at least, not someone GOOD. Because that’s you thinking you’re not good enough RIGHT NOW for someone. And if YOU don’t think you’re good enough, what message do you think other people are getting from you?

    Easier said than done, but I am SO GLAD to see you making LOVING yourself, right NOW, a priority. Because you are 100% worthy of love from yourself and from others, just as you are. Because God says so.

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