Releasing My Anchors: 2 Year Blog-Anniversary

Today is a big day!!!! Two Year Blog-Anniversary

Two years ago I blogged three times in one day. My first post and this one ‘Why I am Doing This

I reflected on my First Anniversary

However today the only thing that I could honestly write was: content.
That’s how I honestly feel.

What has THIS YEAR been like?

    So what have I LEARNED THIS YEAR?

    Oh My HEAVENS..where do I begin? So much. But I shall share this little bit with you. I went running this morning and it was hard going. I wanted to quit, but I kept thinking about running with MizFit in Vegas.

    DSC_0004.jpg

    As I kept plowing through the running, I got to thinking about my blog. My blog started out when my ex-man told me that I should document my weight loss story. (I have mentioned this before). In many ways he was the spark of the binging and dark space that I have documented here, through the abrupt unmasking of some very deep insecurities I had. I have kept this in the forefront of my mind, and have given a great deal of my own personal energy in keeping the negative realities of our past relationship alive in my mind. As an excuse for my problems now.

    I have been thinking A LOT about what I want my life to become. Re-working my thinking about life…but more importantly crafting the life I want to. Putting my sails out and going with the wind. BUT, I realised that during my run I have anchors that I have kept casted down…they’re slowing me down…keeping me stagnant.

    My parents divorce
    My ‘need for sugar’
    My lack of sleep
    My need for validation
    My ex-man’s words

    The anchors in my life have been given to me and others I have cast down. Afraid, partially, of what lingers past the mirage of the horizon, I have used them as excuses. I have crafted a simmering detest for him and what he put me through. What my parents put me though.

    I realised that if I kept those anchors down, then I would be only punishing myself continually throughout my life for the past. I don’t want to simply cut the anchors’ strings and leave them on the ocean floor..running away from them.

    I want to make peace with them. Offer my forgiveness and leave them on deck. Remove their power. Recognise, appreciate, move on. I whole-heartdley forgave me ex-man, my parents, my enemy in elementary school. ALL OF IT! More though, I forgave myself for dwelling for so long on the circumstances of it all–the past. I just let it all go.

    As I pulled up those anchors some where harder than others, but I mustered the strength that I have built over this past year. As I mentally pulled them up I began to fully realise that I could actually sail with the wind life has been trying to put into my sails.

    Thank you anchors.
    Thank you for saying, doing, crippling me in ways.
    Thank you for giving me the brute strength to pull you up and throw you on deck.
    Thank you for letting me relish in the wind that’s in my sails.

    More though..Michelle..be so proud of this moment, this year, all the pain, everything. Now go get a Margarita and bask in the breeze of life.

    ~Mish

    Thank you to each and EVERY SINGLE one of you who reads, comments, talks about, supports me. I adore, cherish and enjoy you more than you know.

    23 thoughts on “Releasing My Anchors: 2 Year Blog-Anniversary

    1. KCLAnderson (Karen) says:

      Happy Anniversary dear Mish!

      It’s funny, I’ve been thinking about those anchors too and have started to be very grateful for them as well. How sweet our lives are in spite of them…or maybe even because of them. How lucky are we to have had them to teach us?

      Sail on beautiful woman!

    2. Robyn says:

      Congrats on the Blog-iversary!

      I just recently started reading your blog and so many of the things you talk about resonate with me. Just recently, I blogged about letting go of past regrets. Anchors is such an apt word. It’s such a visually appropriate metaphor for what has happened in my experience.

      Thank you for sharing!

    3. jord says:

      Happy Anniversary! I’m definitely a lurker, but I love reading your blog. Here’s to many more years!!

    4. SeattleRunnerGirl says:

      Congratulations and happy blogiversary, Michelle! You are so right – you SHOULD be proud of the work you’ve done this year. Learning to love yourself is a worthy and important thing, and it’s so fun to watch/read you do it!

    5. missyrayn says:

      Often at the times I pity myself for what I have gone through and how it holds me back I try to picture what my life would be like if I hadn’t gone through all of that. I would be me and that would be sad.

      Michelle you have inspired me so much throughout this past year and I’m proud do have participated in all the fun you bring. Thank you for just being you through it all.

      • Mish says:

        Thank you so much. You have also, honestly, done the same thing for me. Thank you for being a woman of faith..I need it.

    6. Sarah says:

      I cherish YOU more than you know.
      I enjoy the word picture of an anchor and a boat and sails. SO good not to run away from the things that haunt(ed!) us.
      Love your perspective.

    7. Ellie Di says:

      So many congrats! I’m proud that you’re proud of yourself, if that makes sense. Thank you so much for sharing so much of your struggle, and I can’t wait to see what other amazing things you do in the next year. ❤

      • Mish says:

        I read your comment this morning and I thought to myself ‘man I am SO ready to take this year on..so excited to see what is around the corner for me!”

    8. Mara Lapin says:

      Michelle, congratulations with your blog-anniversary!

      I’ve only been reading your blog for a few weeks. So far I’ve got the feelings that lots of your struggles are similar to mine. I find it really inspiring to read about your thoughts and actions. I hope that you keep on writing for a long time to come! All the best for your future!

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