Today has been a fantastic day. Went to microbiology lab and got to culture some of my hair so hopefully I’ll get to see some microbes growing next week. I am a closet HUGE nerd.
The past six weeks, my eating has been off. I spend Monday-Thursday making up for the calorie consumption that takes place on Friday-Sunday. Doing things I’ve always said are not health. As in limiting, restricting and denying foods. Which also means limiting, restricting and denying a healthy relationship with food. Such a horrible cycle to be in.
1500: Wednesday to Monday, I will track everything I eat and make it my goal to eat 1500 calories. No more, no less. The goal here is to even things out and to get out of the cycle of spending my weekdays trying to makeup for what I did on the weekends.
I was thinking back to when I was going through a lot of emotional stuff: I went straight to constricting my caloric/point intake. I would set-up elaborate plans that would have twice daily working out, limited food intake and promises of not ‘wavering’ from my plan. Jen is actually increasing her caloric intake to 1,500 after speaking with her dietician. Kudos to her. But she’s demanding a five day a week, strict adherence to it…and it comes at time that is very emotionally sensitive to her right now.
It made me REALLY think about how we use food and/or calorie control to MANAGE our lives, especially when we have a lot of emotional shiznat going on. For me it was either binging on food to escape and/or trying to constrict my intake.
It’s evident in my life that the best laid plans…usually go WAY OFF..when used to DISTRACT ourselves from aspects of our lives. The immediate escape that eating and/or caloric stictness gives, doesn’t actually help deal with the emotional needs the world is demanding us to deal with.
I am not going to speak for Jen. However, it did make me think heaps about how I had used ‘starting NOW on a plan’ as a tool of masking the inevitable volcano of emotions I didn’t want to, didn’t know how to, and/or couldn’t be bothered dealing with.
When you’re emotionally weak or your life is crazy do you ‘go back on plan’ or totally off plan?
How do you deal with life without food/dieting?