I wrote the post last night.
I want to be skinny, thin, light, feel hot.
I am desperate to lose weight. I just want all of the inner-thigh fat to be gone, the muffin-top to disappear, my f-ing jeans that have been sitting in my closet for over 1 year not worn to fit again.
I want to feel pretty.
Read this comment. From Karen
But in the end, I will have to quote Christie from one her recent blogs:
“The intention behind learning how to listen to your body shouldn’t be to lose weight. I just don’t believe that intuitive eating, and trying to lose weight go hand in hand. … The primary goal of intuitive eating is to change your relationship with food, exercise and your body.
I have to admit that as I continue on this intuitive eating journey the first thing that I want to do is figure out how to eat intuitively so that I can lose weight.
This whole time I have been thinking that while I intuitively eat, I wanted to really be doing this to lose weight.
Right now: I am still pseudo-dieting. I am still couting points. I am still wanting to lose weight.
What I have come to realise, is that this intuitive eating/life journey isn’t JUST about losing weight. It’s ACTUALLY (for me) about finding the balance and trust in my relationship with myself–which manifests in weight-eating-exercise-men-intimacy-school work. It’s about having a TRUE relationship with myself where I nurture myself and STOP trying to shove things through dieting filters.
As scary as this is to write and pound into my brain….I am going to stop trying to lose weight.
(break: need to cry and deal with a HUGE surge of emotions)
I am going to really focus on re-building and building a relationship with myself. Crazy.
How do you nurture your relationship with yourself?