I suppose that we all have moments in our lives where we are frozen. Places what we can go back to.
Hatching baby ducks in First Grade–fun imagination
Dressing up for football games in high school–fun totally soaked in spirit
Hitting 168lbs—totally and completely surreal
Being told “My biggest fear is that you’ll gain all the weight back that you’ve lost and I don’t see myself loving you” — crushed.
I don’t believe in inner children. I do believe that there are frozen places in ourselves—undigested pockets of pain–that need to be recognized and welcomed, so that we can contact that which has never been hurt or wounded or hungry. ~Women, Food and God pg. 8
When I heard Geneen Roth read this out loud on the audiobook version, I literally froze. Processing that with this comment Geneen said to a retreat participant who was struggling, sent me into something profound.
“When did the determination not to believe in anything ever set in?” ~Women, Food and God p.7
The point is, is that I have been FROZEN in that moment of being told I wasn’t enough after I had pretty much done everything physically possible to be what someone else wanted for me. I have been running away by binging, dragging myself down, wallowing, not putting myself first….because I haven’t recognised that in my soul I have parts of it that have been frozen in that time.
This realisation and the DEALING with it, is so profound for me.
The realisation that I could . It was the moment, in recent history, where I have given up on myself…because I wanted to be everything for someone else.
If you’re struggling..when was the moment you gave up?
If you’ve gotten through it….what was the moment you had to work through?