Unfreezing THE Moment

I suppose that we all have moments in our lives where we are frozen. Places what we can go back to.

Hatching baby ducks in First Grade–fun imagination
Dressing up for football games in high school–fun totally soaked in spirit
Hitting 168lbs—totally and completely surreal

Being told “My biggest fear is that you’ll gain all the weight back that you’ve lost and I don’t see myself loving you” — crushed.

I don’t believe in inner children. I do believe that there are frozen places in ourselves—undigested pockets of pain–that need to be recognized and welcomed, so that we can contact that which has never been hurt or wounded or hungry. ~Women, Food and God pg. 8

When I heard Geneen Roth read this out loud on the audiobook version, I literally froze. Processing that with this comment Geneen said to a retreat participant who was struggling, sent me into something profound.

“When did the determination not to believe in anything ever set in?” ~Women, Food and God p.7

The point is, is that I have been FROZEN in that moment of being told I wasn’t enough after I had pretty much done everything physically possible to be what someone else wanted for me. I have been running away by binging, dragging myself down, wallowing, not putting myself first….because I haven’t recognised that in my soul I have parts of it that have been frozen in that time.

This realisation and the DEALING with it, is so profound for me.

The realisation that I could . It was the moment, in recent history, where I have given up on myself…because I wanted to be everything for someone else.

If you’re struggling..when was the moment you gave up?
If you’ve gotten through it….what was the moment you had to work through?


12 thoughts on “Unfreezing THE Moment

  1. Miz says:

    I am in that moment.
    Not with fitness this time—but it feels the same to push on through and see if I CAN do it.

  2. Dieting Momma says:

    I am totally frozen in the moment of unhealthy eating, and bad dieting but I have to move forward because I am missing so much of my life. I am feeling empowered, and I will keep on trying to lose weight for my family.

  3. Sarah says:

    I’m alive right now. I’m living out my moments. This has lasted a little over a week, and I am really enjoying it.
    For me, I had to let go of defining myself by words, actions, and pain that happened to me as a little girl. I kind of forgot I was holding on to those things, but it took a few events and the thoughtful words of Geneen Roth to remind me.

  4. It All Changes says:

    I’m in that moment with trusting myself with what I eat.

    Even after I lost the weight my dad told me I would gain it back so I don’t trust myself with food. I’m learning daily.

  5. Foodie McBody says:

    Wow. I can’t believe someone said that to you. And all I can say is you are so so so so lucky to be away from that kind of energy!!!!!!! UGH!

    “Undigested pockets of pain.” Yeah. Got that.

    I feel like I’ve gotten through, or am in the lifelong process of getting through. And I think it began when I started my blog and admitted my issues, then it grew when I began writing about it, then grew more when I “outed” myself to People I Actually Know, and started merging my “Foodie” life with my “Susan” life. Starting the food photo blog. Taking it on the stage via solo performance has been unbelievably liberating, freeing, validating and just wow. It’s all a process. For me, it’s been about not hiding, not being ashamed. Telling it, showing it, sharing it. Honesty.

  6. Ashley Solomon says:

    I also was moved by that quote when I read Women, Food, and God. My undigested pockets of pain related were not easily definable or single moments either – they were more like losses – or maybe better described as “never-had’s”. I’m not sure they’ll ever be fully “digested” but I’ve come to a point of acceptance and self-love that allows me to live with them.

  7. shannon says:

    That line struck me as well. I actually got out of bed to find a highlighter so I could refer back to it. I am not sure what specifically my pocket of pain was. Need to explore my childhood and what was going on back when I began binging in 3rd grade.

  8. Laurie says:

    I love this. I am about to be finishing that book, along with several others. I go back and forth. I need to go reread that part. I wonder if it is a “frozen” moment or a series of freezes, that’s what I feel.
    On another topic. I just switched over from Blogger to WordPress, I am a computer dunce and,ugh, am trying to figure it out.
    Do you know:
    1. how I can make sure all my followers will be able to see my new spot?
    2. how do you know when your blogrollers have posted a new post? on blogger they listed them in order of new post.
    I thought someone may have more insight that me.

    • Mish says:

      do you use google reader? and I would just post a comment on your blogger saying ‘come find me here’ if you haven’t found me.

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