Tulip Thoughts

Last Friday, blame it on doing night shift for four weeks, I had an epic meltdown. Like sobbing intermittently for the good half of the morning. As I wrote yesterday, my heart is really that of a racehorse. I don’t do well trapped, and when I have something that I want…I want it now.

I think it stems from the fact that I don’t feel like I am doing exactly what I want to do with my career. Further, the things which I desire to do require more experience, time, skill building. It requires patience, hard-work and faith.

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Sometimes it’s so easy to run away from what causes us angst. The temptation to ‘cut bait’ and distract from the uncertainty, anxiety and frustration of things not going how we had hoped is something that I have to work on.

I made tea and sipped it slowly, watching from the window while the girls played in the pool.  I can’t say that my discontentment magically disappeared, but my discomfort with it did. There are many times that a quick trip to Target or a new book is needful for a pick-me-up or a game changer among monotony. But yesterday, it felt good to give my discontentment a big ‘ol hug instead of running away from it. (source)

I read that today and knew that perhaps the universe is conspiring against us racehorses and making us…settle down and be OK with where we are.

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It’s so easy to press the fast-forward button. To box-tick. To plan out exactly how life is supposed to go.

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It’s easy to forget to stare down inside of tulips.

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Have you ever admired how beautiful the connection of the petals with the stems are?

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It’s not perfect right now. No. It’s not exactly how I wanted it to go. True. I am making progress towards something fabulous. Yes. It takes patience. Yes. It takes a whole ton of faith that I’m doing that I feel called to do in my heart. Of course.

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As I pissed about this weekend being pissed off and annoyed at life. I was reminded that some people are dealing with full-on and tragic stuff.

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Even just the process of re-kindling my photography skills, that I learned about a year ago, with these tulips reminded me of simple beauty. Finding the peace within discomfort is part of life.

~Mish

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