“Andrew”
“Yes” (tries to be polite, whilst playing his computer game)
“Ummm, I want to write a blog post about how I’m preparing my heart for marriage.”
“Ok,……” (continues to play computer game)
“So, I was wondering if it was ok if I told the whole wide blog world that we’re actually getting married in November..and June.”(pause)
“That’s fine baby.”
—-
So…we’re getting married twice.
SAVE ME!
I didn’t even really want to plan one wedding, but now I’m planning two. UGH (rolls eyes). I’m excited to BE married, I’m NOT overly ecstatic about planning one, two weddings. What happened is that three months ago, before a night shift, I decided that I should perhaps check to see when my visa ran out. This of course is after our engagement party, making of our website and getting engraved stuff with 28 June 2014 all.over.it.– and— telling all of our family and friends about this overseas wedding in Oregon!
I looked up my visa and realised that in fact my visa is running out 28 April 2014…exactly two months before our wedding in June. The plan was to get married in June, then apply for a spouse visa so that I wouldn’t get deported.
I started panicking, laughing hysterically, andrew wasn’t laughing…then we had to talk about what we wanted to do. Defacto visa, work sponsorship, move USA wedding earlier, registery office, let people know, keep it a secret, run away and hide? I can’t keep a secret. So we mentioned it to our parents…out of respect. Then they FREAKED out and HAD to be there. And so low and behold our quiet secret ceremony is now going to be held on the beach below with about 50 people including my Mom and sister from America..they HAD to come.
did a little investigative work a couple months ago.
I’m kinda glad, to be honest, because now my sister and mum have a reason to come and visit (I have been here over 7 years with no visitors!) We’re going to a pub afterwards. My brain would have exploded if I had to plan catering for two events. Cruisy, laid-back, Aussie!
We’re still having our ‘white dress’ ceremony for the June 28 2014 in Oregon. In fact I’m headed back to Oregon in about five weeks to plan the JUNE 2014 wedding and drink as much Dutch Bros coffee as I can consume in 1 week and 3 hours. (I planned to go back in October to plan the June wedding before I realised everything!) I’m excited because if I didn’t, then most of my family wouldn’t see me before the ceremony in June, I get to share the experience of dress shopping with my family, and I get to sit on my Dad’s porch and soak this view up with every.single.ounce.of.my.body.
It’s made me think a lot, a lot about what type of woman I want to be as a married woman. A WIFE! Even though we’ve been living together (sorry ppl), being engaged has changed even our relationship..and I could feel our commitment change, blossom, transform, solidify…and it was nice. I’m not gonna lie. But it makes me ponder and think A LOT about what it’s going to be like, how will it/or not change once we’re MARRIED!
We really weren’t planning on making 30 November anything huge, but it is a big deal..and although it’s for reasons of which were sparked due to my completely horrible planning, it is when we are going to be legally married. I’m excited, nervous, and I have to be honest I’m dealing with old body image/food tapes (or as Roni calls it ‘the mean girl’) but I’m working through this stuff. I have had to think about what baggage I want to try and leave ‘at the terminal’ and which ones I’m ok with bringing on as checked luggage into our marriage.
I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with him, he makes me a better person, can deal with my crazy, and has really warm feet during winter. I’m sitting with all of it, instead of pushing it back. I’ll write more later….but yes…we’re getting married twice…and in about 12 week to be exact!
thoughts? opinions? advice?
~Mish
all engagement photos were done by Ashleigh @ AshbeePhotography
eatingjourney.wordpress.com 
I got married twice, and it was awesome! I don’t really have any advice because I really didn’t react to much of anything during wedding prep. We all deal differently, and I just saw it as an extension of our existing relationship. Nothing changed when we got that piece of paper, and I think that’s what a lot of people don’t prepare themselves for….both the good and the bad; they are there before and after the wedding.
And I am just really excited that I get to be there for one of them 🙂
Im excited that you’re coming. Even though we’re living together nothing from day to day changed except that title I’d use in conversation. I did see our relationship a bit differently, but it wasn’t a monumental change. I think for me, it gives me peace of mind knowing that there will be PR at the end of it (which is NOT the motivation to get married) and for us..hopefully kids. Other than that, my love for him … I don’t think will change.
No real advice except that I am thrilled for you…thrilled that you’re gonna have two weddings and that your family is there for you for both of them. And how smart to go to a pub and not make yourself any crazier than you need to be…not that you *need* to be crazy, but you know what I mean. And I am sooooo with you on the whole “being” married versus “getting” married. Smart girl!
Oh, and I am writing this on the 16th anniversary of my amazing marriage…over the years that you and I have been blogging I have always envisioned that you’d find it too…and I know how scary and…sad…it can be to be in that place of having been used…of having allowed yourself to be used. And to find true love (within ourselves) and with a great guy too. ❤
Congrats on 16 years. That’s fabulous stuff, and I know how much he means to you as well. I’m excited to see where life takes me and Bless Andrew for joining me on this journey. Excited, nervous and a tinge bit exhausted from it all. BUT I’m learning to ‘wave the white flag’ now more than ever. Happy Anniversary!
mish did you know that 30th November is St Andrews day
I had NO idea…how fitting is that? Thanks for letting me know 🙂