Life is a bit nuts at the moment. I’ve been planning my wedding, working full-time, getting the house organised, and planning the post-wedding fun with my Dad/Mom/Sister.
I’m super excited. How cool are these wedding cake toppers that I got done off of this etsy.com shop
There has been some interesting, I’d say even more interesting stuff, changing in my own psyche…more important than planning weddings, holidays for family, etc. For the past 6-7 weeks I’ve stopped calorie counting. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’ve had some medical stuff go on and more importantly some spiritual stuff go one..whereby I’ve relinquished the reigns and just let be let be.
That’s involved stopping when I’m full. Eating ice cream, McDonald’s French Fries..etc. It means long beach walks, stopping flogging myself with working out, swimming, and sleeping a lot more.
You know what is amazing?
I HAVEN’T BINGED ONCE.
Nope, did you read that?
I haven’t binged once. Not at all. I HAVE struggled with some body image issues, I think that most Brides do…but I’ve given myself the space to process them, have asked for space in that need to process them and have dealt with my ‘drug of choice to numb’ food. I’ve steered away from shaming myself for eating certain things, I’ve been able to deal with impulsive desires to ‘eat the whole pantry’..and for the first time in a long time dealt with the fears I have around food.
I still have moments, but I don’t feel overwhelmed by them. I don’t have rules about food anymore. I eat what I want, when I’m hungry…that’s it really. I don’t put restrictions on anything anymore. I got to sleep when I’m tired and probably wake up too early sometimes.
I’m learning how to feel free. I’m learning to listen to my body. I’m learning that there is hope of releasing the chains that food addiction/fear/cycle can be let go. I’m learning to repair and foster a relationships with myself.
It’s bloody brilliant.