Pregnancy is a funny, beautiful and surreal experience. Not only has it impacted my overall relationship with food/exercise…I have started to think about what type of a person I want to be when I have a child.

I cuss too much
I don’t read my Bible enough
I leave dishes in the sink overnight
Sometimes I loose my cool (like telling a vacuum salesman to leave my house NOW, cause we’re not buying the damn thing)

I think about how I want my child(ren) to view the world. How do I want them to walk through this world? What type of soul I would want them to foster themselves into being? What lens I would want them to view when seeing the world and those around them?

Do you know how many people are starving for real love? Real hope? Real mercy? This world is dark and lonely and suffering, and Jesus seemed to think the best course was to send disciples out who were willing to constantly make the kingdom real for people who were searching for something true.

Jesus didn’t tell us to make the gospel right.

He didn’t tell us to make it law.

He told us to make it real.
~Jen Hatmaker

I wrestle often with my faith, and a lot recently, in regards to the condemnation based in religion…especially those of us who identify with the Christian faith.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I’m so confused, because although my own annoyance at what I would classify as a ‘hyper sensationalism of issues which bear no weight of judgement for us humans on this earth’. I struggle finding my own place in the faith community whereby my own desire to just let people be where they are, who they are, how they are feels like a real struggle.

It was ONLY through one of my friends offering love, acceptance and kindness…not judgement, commendation and/or coercion…that I even had my alter call.

We’ve all screwed up.
We’ve all made choices riddled with sin, guilt and remorse.

We ALL deserved to be loved.

Of course there are extreme cases of just pure evil. But the issues which are being drug through the media of isolating, vilifying and badgering people in the name of religion is why we have senseless wars, people flying airplanes into buildings, teenagers committing suicide because they have sexuality struggles which they don’t feel comfortable talking to people with, and gaps in politics where everyone ends up getting hurt.

I was watching Our America recently about an Irish Nun who decided to leave the traditional convent and work on the streets with transgender homosexual prostitutes. She loved them. She loved each and every single one of them. She listened, took them to church in big vans and helped one through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. She meets people where they were. There was no judgement, no condemnation, no ridicule. Just pure love. It doesn’t mean that what they were choosing to do was somehow adverse to her belief system…it didn’t matter….because at the end of the day her job is to live our her belief of serving.

Regardless of where we fall in the “is homosexuality a sin” debate, as Christians, our greatest charge is to LOVE.
~Kristen @ Rage Against the Minivan

All of this has left me thinking a lot about how I want to raise my children.

I guess many would label me as a liberal-minded religious girl who doesn’t not much about the specific but has a deep burning desire in her heart to find a community that upholds equality, faith, acceptance, education and opportunity to all who seek it.

I want to be a Mom who gives my children the ability to have morals, beliefs and values of which are their own…but also with the grace that has been given to us to show others that there is an undying fountain of life, love, grace and salvation.  I want to become a more generous human being who “teaches the gospel always, but uses words when only necessary.” I want to walk through judging less, loving more, and knowing that my life is rooted in the deep relationship I have with God, and the ability to give to others through the security in that relationship. The judgement isn’t for me to give out, but love is.


2 thoughts on “Love

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