I was at a local baby wearing meet this week. A whole bunch of mommas come together, bring homemade goods and talk baby wearing. I drooled over the carriers people had, wrapped my kid in my ring sling and connected.
“vanilla lace” Lenny Lamb ring sling — craddle carry
I saw her walk in. An infant and a little toddler. I had remembered that there was a girl who posted on the wall if she could have someone help her with her wrap, because she didn’t know how to use it properly.
“OF COURSE”..was the response. “We’ll see you there.”
I introduced myself, the over excited baby wearing momma that I’ve become. She was timid, we were all a LITTLE too excited about baby wearing…but she jumped in. After one go with her wrap she wanted to try everything, wanted to wrap her head around the names of everything (MeiThai, half buckle, full buckle, manducca, ergo, ring sling, Lenny Lamb, angle pack, kinderpack, rails)
The village embraced.
There have been times when I get random text messages from people I’ve only met a couple of times “how’s it going?” …and you know that you don’t have to pull any punches. You don’t have to sugar-coat anything. You can lay it out on the line “I AM DEAD DOG TIRED!!!” …and the response… “SO AM I”
The village gets it.
Then your find your instagram/blogging friends. They to GET it and they are PROUD of what we have overcome with our feeding issues, they like photos of my child vomiting all over herself before we walk out the door, and I’ve networked with people with whom I’ll never meet but feel like I know.
The village uplifts.
And then you realise that you’re not receiving from the village, you start to BE part of the village. You start to understand what it means to support other women, to give back in ways you never thought you could. To be self-less and to know that when it was hard-yards for you…they wove a safety net. Now it’s your turn to give back. So you invited a friend over and teach her how to babywear and the absolute joy on her face it why you say YES COME OVER ANYTIME! You begin to realise the absolute beauty of paying-it-forward in the land of moms.
Becoming part of the village.
I had a moment this week when I sat over lunch with my Husband and cried “I’m tired. I need a break. I feel like I’m not enjoying it anymore.” I’m reminded that I have a village of women around me to support, encourage and uplift and I’m a FB message, text, phone call away from a group that GET IT…down to the joy of the first smile to the tears of exhaustion.
So often we try and do things on our own. We don’t open up about what we REALLY need (either because we don’t know, or because we don’t know how to ask and/or we’re embarrassed).
Ask, seek, find, be open, be honest…find your village…your tribe.