For some reason, I have been reflecting a lot on when I felt the best of my life.
When did you feel totally insync with who you are / When you’re feeling fit, healthy, stable
When you really feel like yourself.
For me, that was the summer of 2006..right before I moved to Australia. The funny thing is, is that I still had such a distorted image of my own person then. When i look back on my time now (wiser and more tired and in a totally different frame of mind) I realised that I didn’t actually enjoy all of that I had at that time. I think we can always be guilty of that, not actually seeing how good things were/are.
I don’t know if I want to go back to that specific time in my life. What I do struggle with now is actually putting myself first. Being a mum and wife makes the commitment to putting yourself first harder. And I intellectually know that when I do out myself first, I am always able to give to those people around me in a better state. I think that in some points I do grieve a bit of the frivoulsou-ness of being single and child-less…but what I grieve more is that I have some how lost the sense of making time for myself and having the space to really nurture myself.
i don’t think I have the magic answer to how to get back to “that place” and I am weary of trying to get back to any place in our history. BUT the foundation of why that place was good is in that I MADE time to nourish my own being, spending time exercising and resting and nourishing. That is what we want. Ultimately we want to feel whole and nourished and loved. When we step back and actually acknowledge that and start making changes to embrace that…we get to the place we’ve either want to be or are working towards.
So, Summer of 2006 was great. I have many lessons to learn for who I was then.