I haven’t written in so long.
I have been consumed with other things…like running a business and trying to keep up on laundry. Hey, even showering daily feels like a goal most day 🙂
But I feel like I’m in a huge transition. Do you ever feel like you just need a ton of space. Like a white, light flooded room of greatness where you can marinade on your thoughts and soak in your own journey.
I don’t think there is that space often when we are mothers, running businesses and trying to cook a decent meal each night.
But I can feel the weighted freedom of the transition and it can be overwhelming for me at times. I want to curl up in bed, I don’t want anyone touching me, I just need a ton of space. I’m nostalgic, scared, hopeful and expectant all wrapped up into one heart. I’m aligned more then I’ve been, but tired from the alignment process.
I’ve not written in almost a year, and honestly I haven’t really written from my soul for probably 6-7 years. I’ve wanted to run away from what I feel is my calling on this earth. I think I’ve needed to run away to add more depth to my journey, in an attempt to perhaps help others through theirs.
In my running I’ve completed two Master’s Degrees and new nursing jobs and now with my online business, I have realised that all I’ve ever done is run. Run to the highest rank in each choose path, except the one of self-care and alignment. Exhausting my options for outwardly accolade and perfectionism. Leaving myself behind and pushing forward to an arbitrary goal.
I don’t know now if it’s so black and white. So ‘either you’re present or you’re not’. I don’t think we can compartmentalise it so quickly. I think there are times when we do neglect ourselves to push forward in a career or current path…or visa versa. Where are nourish ourselves so intently but put the career on the back burner.
So it’s the transition of thought.
It’s a transition of life approach. It’s a huge time for examining what my true purpose is on this earth and what I’m really here to share. I was driving up to a two-day conference last weekend and the only thing that kept coming back to me was ‘share, share, share’.
So I’m opening up my heart again, because I want to be present in this space online. I want to be something other then the crazy oil and I want to give back to the universe through my own journey. I want to share what is on my heart and I want to share my transition.